We must talk. You need fresh start. [GROANS] Such a glare. It's like I'm on stage at the Gaiety. With training, you can be X-Man. You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus. I'm not X-Man material. Understatement of the year.
Deadpool 2
7.1s
WADE: Your crazy matches my crazy. VANESSA: I will never, ever let our child be named Todd. WADE: Skee-Ball token. You're a lot smarter than I look.
Deadpool 2
1.3s
Ness?
Deadpool 2
1.2s
The fuck?
Deadpool 2
1m6s
You time-sliding son of a bitch! You did this for me? Wait. You can't go back. You used the last of your fuel. What about your girl, your wife? Now, my family's safe. And I didn't do it for you. No, I'm gonna stick around for a while... and make sure the world doesn't shit itself into oblivion. No. You did it for me. No, I didn't. You did. I really didn't. Pretty sure you did. No, I'm positive I didn't. Fine. All right, let's flip a coin. Okay? Heads, you did it for me. Tails, you did it for me. I'm not even gonna look, because you did it for me. Say it again. He did it for me. CABLE: Jesus. We must get the collar off. Forget it. It's no use. These collars don't just come off. Wade. I have an idea. No, no, no! Let's not do that. Please! I'd rather die of cancer. Let's just... Oh, God! They do say the pen is grosser than the sword. [COLLAR BUZZING] RUSSELL: We need the code. Try, uh, seven? DEADPOOL: Settle down, Captain Lucky. It's not gonna be one number. Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
Deadpool 2
19.6s
COLOSSUS: Wade... Vanessa is gone. She's not coming back. This may not be family you want... but it's family you need. You have a good heart. It belongs here where it can grow. What did you say? About my heart?
Deadpool 2
1.2s
Year.
Deadpool 2
1.8s
[IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME PLAYING]
Deadpool 2
15s
Oh, God! Oh, God, time out! Time out! Cut. I've got bad guy blood, right in my open eye. Oh, that's so gross. [GROANING] Fuck. Looks like you left a little landing strip there. I like it.
Deadpool 2
5.5s
What is that? That's not a real rope! You get back here, young man! [SIRENS WAILING]
Deadpool 2
1.4s
COLOSSUS: Wade.
Deadpool 2
1.5s
My people.
Deadpool 2
6.2s
I'm okay. Thank God I didn't have to use the cream cheese spreader. [BOTH PANTING] [GASPS]
Deadpool 2
1.8s
[VOICES ECHOING]
Deadpool 2
24.6s
Bye, Wade! Now, some ground rules while under our roof. "Rule number one. No killing... "anyone ever, no matter how bad. "Rule two. Label everything in refrigerator." Wade? Wade? Don't try to chase me. Wade! I'm not ready to be touched again. All these old guys on the wall. Who lives here, Calista Flockhart?
Deadpool 2
45.8s
[WEASEL RETCHES] Why wouldn't you cover that up? A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of. WEASEL: Yeah, but you do. Look at you. You're just straight shirt-cocking it, toddler-style. Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh. The hell's happening? Describe it. I wouldn't ask him to do that, if I were you. WEASEL: It's like, um... Here we go. It's like he was giving birth anally, but they quit halfway through. They got the legs out, and they said, "You know what, I'm done." Happy? It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down. But this time, you can see the Muppet's dick. [DOOR OPENS] Grover's got a cock the size of a twig. DOPINDER: Mr. Weasel, I can no longer be double-parked. I've had three tickets already. [SCREAMS] No, no, no, DP, not again! This has happened before? [DOPINDER RETCHING] [DOOR OPENS] Jesus! Either vomit or don't. The indecision is killing me. Why couldn't God take my hearing?