- (SOFT BEEPING) - Ooh, this one just needs a little top-up of hot water. I'll be right back. (DOOR OPENS) AGENT 7: Man's a divot of the first order. - Someone should put him out of his misery. - Oh. Oh. Ah. AGENT 5: Along with whoever furnished - this room. - Ooh. (GASPS) - (CAP CLATTERING) - (AGENTS LAUGHING) - (GASPS) (MUFFLED EXPLOSION)
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No. If I go clockwise, and you go anticlockwise. - Uh, no, I think that's making it worse, sir. - Hmm. I'm surprised that didn't work. ♪
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(STAMMERING) PEGASUS: Ah, good morning. Sorry to keep you. (CLEARS THROAT) Are the others here? Um...
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Mm, they, um... they nodded off. Right. And who are you, exactly? English. - Johnny English. - Well.
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(SCOFFS) (WHISPERS): One second. Excuse me. Uh, would you mind? Oh. Yees. Evening.
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PEGASUS: Oh.
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(FRENCH ACCENT): French waiters? Yees.
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(PHONE CHIMES) LYNCH: Viola, darling, I've just got to get this. Two seconds. Simple plan, two parts. You provide the distraction, I'll get the phone. - Yes, sir. - And from now on... (FRENCH ACCENT): perhaps we should zound like French waiters.
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(LIVELY FRENCH CHATTER IN KITCHEN)
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- WAITER: Your usual, Monsieur Lynch? - Champagne is great. BOUGH: The problem is gonna be getting close enough for a full surveillance, sir. Not necessarily.
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Sir? Sir, I've just had a fax through from HQ. Background checks on all the guests that accessed the Wi-Fi network. You see? Who needs e-mail? Un peu de champagne, monsieurs? Oh. Danke schön. Um... one name has raised a red flag, sir. Sebastian Lynch, ex-Army and Military Intelligence. Now selling his services to the highest bidder. Where do we find him? Directly ahead, sir. He's got an 8:00 reservation at the Côte de Roc restaurant. - ♪ - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
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It's a mixtape, Bough. ("I'M YOUR MAN" BY WHAM! PLAYING) ENGLISH: So, destination? BOUGH: South of France, sir. That cyberattack seems to have been launched from the Wi-Fi signal of a hotel in Antibes. ♪ Call me good ♪ Call me bad ♪ Call me anything you want to, baby ♪ ♪ But I know, uh-huh ♪ That you're sad ♪ And I know I'll make you happy ♪ ♪ With the one thing that you never had ♪ ♪ Baby ♪ I'm your man ♪ Don't you know that? ♪ Baby ♪ I'm your man ♪ You bet! ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ ♪ Do it with me ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ ♪ Do it with me ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right. ♪ (PEOPLE COUGHING)
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Ooh. Hang on a minute. I always did love a Jelly Baby. I wouldn't if I was you, Bough. "Jelly" is short for gelignite. One bite, and it'll take the top of your head off along with the roof of the car. What does this do?
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BOUGH: Let's see what they've given us. (SIGHS) Exoskeleton. Exploding cotton buds. The old shoebox inflatable. Hmm. Ooh. What are these? Instant Release Super High Energy Pills. Like sticking your fingers in an electric socket. - Highly recommended. - Right. So the red ones must be the Total Knockout Sleeping Pills. - Correct. - Oh. Probably worth labeling these. Um... Ooh. (CHUCKLES) Look, sir. Sweeties.
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That high-tech villain of yours will never see us coming. (TIRES SQUEALING) ♪
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♪ - I'll take this one. - Oh, don't be ridiculous, English. This car's a relic. Drinks petrol, leaks oil, has no passive, let alone active, - safety features. - Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir? Satellite navigation or a single computer chip. Making it completely invisible to a digital enemy. (STARTS ENGINE) The equipment Agent English requested, sir. Thank you. - Phone, Bough? - Yeah.