Look, umā¦ Oh, my God. [Marcus] I might as well do it up. Okay, I'm just try-- -My flow is all thrown off. -It's okay. Just keep going. Just please, just keep going. [Marcus] Baby, umā¦ -Shut up! -[Marcus] Look, you mean so much to me. -Baby, I love you so much. -[breathes shakily] And I know today has been all over the placeā¦ [sighs] ā¦and I can be a bit of a control freak, and when stuff ain't going my way, I get all uptight, -and I overthink thingsā¦ -Oh, baby. ā¦but the one thing I could never think twice aboutā¦ is how much I actually love you.
Vacation Friends
32.5s
Okay. So I had them move your bags to the master suite. Oh, girl. That is way too much. What? No, no, no. Get yourselves comfortable. You are our guests. It is truly the least we can do after our wonky 'cuzzi fucked up your totally beautiful proposal. Well, look. Maybeā¦ Maybe for tonight, okay? -Until we get another hotel. -Yes! -Yes! Oh, boy! -Settled. Who's thirsty? Sit, sit, sit. Get comfortable. Oh, if you guys are worried about privacy and you wanna get really kinky tonight-- We're extremely loud. I don't know what these walls are made of, but you seriously can't hear anything!
Vacation Friends
3.6s
[woman screams] [door opens]
Vacation Friends
1.9s
[crying] Thank you. I love you.
Vacation Friends
2.6s
It was really, really good cocaine.
Vacation Friends
2.1s
[Ron] They did come all the way down here.
Vacation Friends
6s
-You-- You did. -Only the good kind. Right. They were homeopathic. No, I'm talking about the cocaine.
Vacation Friends
6s
Mmm. Well, isn't this an unhappy coincidence, huh, babe? There's a Waffle House right across the street.
Vacation Friends
6.2s
-Fuck that. -Kyla. [Kyla] Ron, you heard them. They were, like, accusing me of giving drugs to people.
Vacation Friends
31.9s
I cannot apologize enough. It seems the guests in the Presidential Suite above your room overfilled the Jacuzzi. So, that means you're gonna put us in another room, right? Oh, yes, yes, of course. If there was room available, it would be yours. Sadly, the hotel is fully booked. Why would you say "of course" if you knew you didn't have another room? You know how misleading that is? Can you just check with any of the other hotels nearby? Of course. We have relationships with all of the five-star hotels. No problem. Just a second. Hmm. Well, let me go ahead and also check for four-star hotels.
Vacation Friends
13.9s
-You drugged us? -[Ron, Kyla] Yeah. I thought I made it really clear when I said to her-- I was like, you know, -"It'll get the job done." -"It gets the job done." Get the job done? That's not clear. That's very vague, okay? What is wrong with you? Why would you put cocaine in margaritas?
Vacation Friends
29.1s
-[slurping] -Oh, that is good. Ron makes the best margaritas, and let me just tell you, girl. -Babe. -It gets the job done. [Ron] Indeed. So, Ron. What park do you work at? Oh. Oregon National Cave Monument. It's in Oregon. Whoa. You work in caves? I'm like Batman. If Batman's job was to keep kids from jacking off stalagmites. [Kyla] Totally. What about you guys? Uh, we're from Chicago, actually. I work in finance and Marcus owns his own construction company. Quick question. Um, why does the salt not taste salty? -Oh, because it's cocaine. -What?
Vacation Friends
12.9s
Oh, my God, baby. Baby, I'm so glad you're okay. Look-- Look, y'all. I'm so-- I'm-- I'm so sorry, okay? I don't-- I don't know what happened. I'm usually the careful guy. -I don't-- I don't even know what to say. -I do.
Yes! [chuckles] -Oh, yes! -Oh, my God. -Yes! Yeah! Fucking A, Maurillio. Yes! -Yes! -[man] You had me! You were likeā¦ -[woman] That was beautiful! "The only thing I didn't need to think about was you." You guys! It was you. It was-- Baby, I love you! I love you so much. Baby, I love you so much. I love you. And you know what, I don't care that we lost the room. I know. I know how hard you worked. I don't care. We can camp out on the beach. I just wanna be your woman! No! No! Nobody's camping on the beach. -You get that out of your head right now. -I love you guys. -Like, you have to stay with us. -With us. Consider it, like, our engagement present to your beautiful souls. Yes. -Nah. Yeah. Yeah. We're okay. -Nah, we good. Yeah. We're fine. You're gonna say no to the Presidential Suite? It has a Jacuzzi and everything.