Found 1842 results
31.4s
-I can't help your mom is a GILF. -[Matt] That's it. -[Jordan] Yeah, I said it. -[Matt] Stop. Look, man, I got a… a present for you. Can I give you a present? Wait right here. I'll be right back. I got somethin' for you. We've been makin' a list. We need onesies. And you need a lock. A toilet lock. You know, they can drown in the toilet. Look, I've been meaning to ask, wh-- How long… how long are you stayin'? -I wish I didn't have to go back-- -[Matt] I'm not talking to you, Mom. We've discussed that. But, Marion, I wasn't a hundred percent sure about you. Well, since you refuse to move back to Minnesota, I'll stay six months.
Fatherhood
29.2s
Uh… Breasts. Some men have breasts. I'm gonna let that go 'cause you're grieving. Listen, I love babies. You know, I have three of them myself. They're not babies anymore in the picture, but when they started, they were babies. And I'm tellin' ya, it's brutal. It'll wipe you out. She have solid poops yet? No. Nope. I'm, uh… I'm dealing with the creamy shit right now. Enjoy the creamy shit. It's a big jump. When you get to solid poops, it's not a picnic.
Fatherhood
1m6s
I just want him to die. Is that wrong? -[woman 3] No. [laughs] -[clears throat] [babies crying] Excuse me. Um, I'm sorry. AA is down the hall to the right. I'm not here for that. I'm not… I'm not here for the AA meeting. That's not why I'm here. She, uh… she just went to sleep, but she's been, like, crying for hours. I mean hours to the point where I'm… I'm exhausted. And my face hurts, and I'm getting frustrated. And I don't know how to break the stroller down. I don't know how to fold it up. Okay. Well, sorry, but this is a group for new mothers. You're lying, because on that sign out there, it says "parents." I'm a parent, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I don't have nobody else to talk to about this shit. Speaking of shit, the girl's got some stuff flyin' out of her ass. It's like a fire hose. I don't know if it's normal or not, but it's two different kinds. She can either hit you with a streamer. That's when it's all put together, and it's… it's a little solid. And it's… it's a direct hit. Or she'll buckshot you. And that's… that's that spray. It's… it's a quick… whop! I need help. I need the crying to stop. How do I make the crying stop?
Fatherhood