Found 285 results
2m27s
Hey, busboy, why is table 12 still dirty? Oh, 'cause they were talking. I didn't think I should interrupt them, but... Interrupt them. Get them out of here. - All right. - Do your job. - Sorry. Whoa. - Take it easy there, brother. - My bad. - Jesus. - Thank you. Uh, hi. Uh, are you done enjoying your meal? There is food in my mouth, and I am chewing. Do you think that I'm finished? I'm just holding this for my health? - Get me some water. - Sorry. - Hey, come here. Come here. Can we order? - Uh, yeah. - I'll go get your waiter. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. We don't have time for that. We're in a hurry. I'm starving. Okay. Can I go? Usually, the woman goes first, but go ahead. - No, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah? - How about I'm paying? - All right. Can I have a chicken parm with meat sauce? No marinara. Thin. Thin chicken parm. Why aren't you writing it down? Yeah, I-I can't actually because, uh, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a busboy, so they don't even give me a pen. Memorize it. Yeah. Seafood pasta. That's what I want. No clams, okay? Double up on the shrimp. That's how I always get it. We come here all the time. I'm not gonna remember a word you guys just said. It's not rocket science. Just go. - Get our shit. - Oh, I'm... All right. I'm starving. ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Grrt, grrt... ♪ There a dance party or something? - It's fight night. - All right, fight night! Tournament of champions! Fighting for tips. Who's going? Who's going first? - I, Zoots. - Zoots. - Everyone fights for their tips. - The tips that we earn? Y-Yeah, but you have to fight for them now. Who wants some?! Huh?! - Huh? - Who got it?! - It's you, bro. - No way. No, no way. - Put the gloves on. Get in there. Get in there. Hit him. - Hey, yo. - Hey. I don't want... Please, I don... I-I don't want to do this. - Let's just not do this. - You don't want to do this? - What do you mean? - No, well, 'cause we're friends, right? Yeah, no, for the next 15 seconds, this friendship is over, son. - Understand that? - What? - Hmm? - What? Got to understand, fighting is serious. - I don't like it. - It's sacred. It's how I tribute my Lord and Savior. - What? - It's the way I tribute my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I don't think Jesus would want you to kick my ass right now. He would want me to have these tips. - That's what he means. - You can have the tips. I don't even want 'em. - What is this? - I don't know. What's this shit? I've seen Creed a f... a couple times. - What'd you do? - I seen Creed a couple times. - Oh. - Are we about to do the Cotton Eye Joe? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Come on, son. - Okay. - Yeah. Okay. - Come on, son. Oh, that's right. You gonna come this way? Come this way, boy. - Okay. - Come on. Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - For real? - Uh-huh, yeah. Come on! - Ooh! Now we are friends, - goddamn it! - Oh, geez. Take that shit. Yeah! We friends now, nigga, 'cause that's what friends are for. Out this bitch.
The King of Staten Island
1m19s
Yoo-hoo. - Excuse me. - Yeah? Hey, man. How you doing? What's up, man? I need some assistance over here, please. - Sure, I... - Hey, give me a sh... - Oh, my God! - Ah, don't worry about it. Listen, everything's all good. It's, uh, really nothing. I just need a little assistance. This is something that needs to be taken care of now. What happened? Are you okay? Did you get shot? - Were you stabbed? - It's not really a big deal. My vape exploded in my pocket. Just... I didn't stretch right before yoga. I was playing tennis. I slipped. - Well, which one is it? - What do you want me to say? It was nothing. I just need some medical attention, but just by you. Dude, I got to call 911. I don't know what to do. No, no, no, listen, listen. No police, please. Not today. - What does that even mean? - No. We don't need to get the government involved into this situation. We can handle this together. Dude, I'm so high. I can't help you right now. I'm high, too. Well, then you know how I feel. What do you want me to do? Take a look at this. I need some sort of foam. - Holy shit! - You got some stitching? - Dude! - Do-do you have, like, a little needle? - Do you have something with a needlepoint? - No. What happened? It was a misunderstanding. It was an argument. But we're all friends again. We worked it out. You know how buddies get. Dude, I... We-we, we got to take you to the hospital - or you're gonna die. - I'm not gonna die. - Yes, you are. - I'm gonna die? Yeah, I'm positive. I'm positive that you're gonna die if we don't go to the hospital.
The King of Staten Island
37.2s
It's a butthole. - Get it? - Oh, my God. ♪ What the fuck, though? Where the love go? ♪ ♪ Oh! ♪ - Uh-huh. - So, we're talking about how the one percent keeps, like, getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and the wealth inequality is just out of control, and we can't continue with capitalism this way. Yeah, I'm s... I'm sick of the rat race. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, what happened to the American dream? I know. It's like an American nightmare now. - Oh, my... Yeah, exa... - Right? ♪ What the fuck, though? Where the love go? ♪ ♪ Five, four, three, two, I let one go, bow ♪ - Bring it... Oh, shit! - Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
The King of Staten Island
35.4s
Uh, look... I would love to tattoo your back. Okay, cool. All right, but here's the deal. No unicorns. - No rainbows, all right? - Uh. None of that shit little girls like to color in. Okay. No body parts. No nudity. - Okay. - No Chinese letters. - All right. All right, fine. - I want, I... I want to be able to fucking read whatever you put back there. I don't need some o-order for orange chicken or some shit. All right. Here we go. You ready? Yep, let's do it. Let's get it over with. Yeah, I-I really appreciate this. This is... It's actually very nice. Good. All right.
The King of Staten Island
33.1s
But, uh, hey, no harm, no foul. You know? 'Cause, uh, if that didn't happen, I, uh... wouldn't have met this lovely lady. Oh, well, happy to help. Things work out. Yeah. Thank God I did what I did, then. Uh, would you guys like to start with still or, uh, sparkling water? - Oh, let's go sparkling. - Uh, spar... Yeah. Yeah? You like sparkling? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah. Oh, can we get some more bread, too? - Usually go still. - You know? Last time I came here, it came out hot. - Yeah. - It was... oh, it was perfect. It's like my mom made it. Sure. Sparkling and hot bread. All right. Thanks, buddy.
The King of Staten Island
19.6s
And just-just stick to your guns. All right? It'll be fine. Hey. Hey! Come on in. Come have breakfast with us. I made pancakes, and I made the sausage that you like, an omelet. Come, come, come, come sit. Man, these eggs are spectacular. With the onions and the peppers. I love it. I love it.
The King of Staten Island
1m15s
Hey! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny. - Have you been eating? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hey. How are you? This is Ray. - Hey. How you doing? - Oh. - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, I feel like I already know you. Your mom talks about you all the time. - Oh, God. - Oh. No, only good stuff, only good stuff. Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray. - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat. - Could always eat. - Uh-huh. Beautiful school. "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat." Fucking asshole. Look at those two angels, huh? - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you? - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God. - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls. We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway. - They went crazy! - Oh, my God. I love Stomp. What's Stomp? What is that? It's the greatest musical of all time. Yeah, it's, like, that show where people play the drums on, like, garbage cans and, like, tap with broomsticks. - Stuff around the house. - Yeah. Like, you just see a toaster, we make an English muffin. They-they see a whole song. It's incredible. I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids on the subway, for a dollar. And then he took a shit on the platform. Oh. Well, you know. I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but... Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper, they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
The King of Staten Island
36.3s
What do you think about his tattoo restaurant idea? I think it's terrible. Getting a tattoo is like, uh... it's a medical procedure. You don't want to go to the hospital and order supper, you know? I just love that he has big dreams, but he's just so lost. I mean, no matter how much I try to fill him with good energy, he just... he's got no self-esteem. He's really going nowhere. Don't be so hard on yourself. Scientists have been doing studies. They say a lot of this stuff is genetic. You know, you inherit it from your grandparents. So blame them.
The King of Staten Island