Found 285 results
1m45s
Well, I know you're into art, so I thought you could expand your horizons while I'm gone. You got a gift receipt for this? - You okay? - Fine... Yeah. Wh-What do you mean? Yeah, I'm... You gonna be okay without me here? What, you don't think I can survive here without you? Okay, just don't be a dick, okay? Like, be nice to Mom, okay? Don't give her a hard time. - She deserves a break. - I always give her a-a break. What are you... When's... When am I gonna get my break? Like... What are you talking about? All anyone ever does is worry about you. I was ignored my entire childhood 'cause of you. Oh, yeah, I forgot that my childhood was so dandy. Okay, you don't get to act crazy your whole life just 'cause Dad died, okay? At least you got to know him. Well, you're lucky you didn't get to know him, okay? 'Cause that's why you're almost normal. If you got to know him, you would've known that he was, like, the fucking coolest guy ever, and that would've ruined the rest of your life. Okay, like, but what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get a job or are you gonna leave the house? I don't know. I-I'm gonna open that tattoo restaurant. No, like, for real. I am being real. It's a great... It's never been done before. I looked it up. I googled it. It's never been done, not even as a joke. Because no one wants to go to a restaurant and watch people get tattooed while they eat. - It's gross. - It's the best idea ever. Ruby Tattoosdays, where everyone's welcome. - Chicken and tattoos. - That's not a business! You know, you got to get your shit together. Time is passing by very quickly. That's why I smoke weed all the time, okay? It slows it all down. Fucking God. See, I'm worried about you. Well, why now? You never gave a shit. You, like, literally never cared until this second. Like, wh-what, what gives? You never looked out for me once. You're my older brother. You're supposed to look out for me. You're-you're just guilty 'cause you're leaving? Now, all of a sudden, you're afraid I'm gonna die? I was gonna die anyway, whether you stay or not. - Are you gonna hurt yourself? - Probably. Yeah, I'm probably gonna hurt myself. I don't know how, but yeah.
The King of Staten Island
19.5s
No, seriously, you look great. - Really? - Yeah. I just don't, like... I mean, are you flirting with me or...? - Yeah. - Yeah? Yeah, a lot. This is, this is what it looks like. It is really subtle. I couldn't... I can't tell what's going on. This is how it looks. I'm very subtle. All right. - I'm rusty. You're subtle. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. - Nice to meet you.
The King of Staten Island
2m16s
- Igor. - Mm-hmm. Go get that shit, bro. What are you doing? Yo, he is the worst assistant. He's clearly going through a lot. How much for, like, six Xanax? Six. What do we have? What do we have? - Who needs six Xanax? - I got one, two... I got three right here, I think. One, two... Is this a... Yeah. - How you doing? - I'm all right. Yo, you're Jimmy Bags' brother, right? Yes, bro. Tell your brother he's a bitch. - You understand that? - Yeah. I do. - Say it back to me. - He's a bitch. He's a bitch. And now, you know what? I got four, but you're paying for six. Nah, come on. That's my fucking brother, bro. - Like, what are you... - Nah. Nah, dude. I hate your brother. And now you look like a little version of him, and I want to punch you in the face. So, instead of doing that, just give me 60. I only got 40. Then go home, do chores, and come back. - I don't give a fuck. - I-I can't. I stole it from my mom's purse, but she only had 40. Well, then, give me your shoes. No, bro, I can't. Just give me your shoes and we'll call it a day. - Hey, what size are you? - Like, a nine. Those'll fit you. - Igor, you can have those. - I'll take 'em. Look at that, Igor got a gift. - He's not a fucking nine. - Fuck you! You don't make fun of my friend! He-he can't get on fucking roller coasters, - he's that small. - Shut the fuck up! - Whoa! - We make fun of him! - How is he gonna wear them? - You don't make fun of him! - He's our friend. He rides roller coasters all the time. We make fun of him, not you. He's, like, a size five, bro, like... Yo! Stop! Get the fuck away from my window. You guys are a bunch of fucking pussies. Mom, he's saying he's gonna wear these cargo shorts to the party. Oh, no. What? I told you to wear Dad's suit. I don't want to wear Dad's old suit, okay? - I have my own personal style, and I... - Get the fuck off me! - Don't do that! - I-I don't want to wear a suit, okay? I think, I think I'm gonna throw up. I think I have the flu. Oh, oh, okay. Just-just breathe through your nose. One second. Oh, shut up. Mom, he looks like he fucking sells crack under a bridge. I know the guy who sells crack under the bridge, okay? And he looks awesome. Just put on the suit, Scott, please. No! It's not fair! She thinks she's, like, princess of the world... Okay, well, then just please be respectful for two fucking seconds! ...because she graduated high school. Everybody graduates high school! - Shut up! - Scott! - ♪ Oh, she's a jolly good fellow ♪ - Oh. Mom, please... Just put on the suit. Be respectful. I'll be home in an hour. Fine! Thank you.
The King of Staten Island
39.2s
Oh, but you can't, 'cause he's dead. Anybody got a good response to that? Yeah! Again! Whoo! What a game. What a game. So, what, I shouldn't have kids? No, you... you should have kids. I'm gonna have kids. You know, maybe you should take a cue from your shirt, you know? Smile. Lighten up. That's actually kind of funny. Guy's all right. Why can't you be more like him? He's all right. Why can't you not embarrass me like this? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends.
The King of Staten Island
30.7s
Okay, let's see my to-do list. Yo, we're finished packing the car. You want to come out and say goodbye or...? Oh, well, yeah, this is almost over. No, like, we're leaving. - Oh. She's leaving? - Like, to go to college, you know? - Oh, oh, my bad. - Yeah, four years, so... - Oh, all right. - Let's go. Nope, like... Go. Come on. Uh, don't worry about me, okay? This is really hard right now. You don't seem fine. I'm so proud of you.
The King of Staten Island
28.6s
Did you, um, did you, did you come? Well, yes. Were you there? Yeah, I did. - Like, six times. - Cool. - Awesome. - It was great. - Did you? - No, no, no. But it's okay. I-I had fun. I had fun back there. Yeah. You know, I feel bad that you never do. No, I-I do all the time. I just... you know, I don't put on a Broadway show like you do. You know, I'm-I'm more quiet. I'm more like Charlie Chaplin when I come. - Like a silent movie. - Silent movie.
The King of Staten Island
38.3s
All right, can I just tell you... can I tell you something? But can you, like, not tell anybody? Well, people probably know, but, like... There's, like, something wrong with me. - Like, mentally, like... - What? Like, I'm not okay up there. You know? Like... I-I get all mad, acting, like, crazy, and I, and I make really insane, impulsive decisions. And I get... I'm d... I'm scared o-of myself, and I don't... I don't want to, like, scare you or me or, like, hurt anyone, you know? So, I think it would just be best and really responsible of me if I just backed off, you know?
The King of Staten Island
41.6s
Apology accepted. It's nice. Don't get many of those around here. - Thanks. - Oh, hey, this might seem a little crazy, but, uh... can I take you out for a cup of coffee? So, Scott did this. Oh. Is that a cocker spaniel? No. No, that's my daughter. - That's Claire. - Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. I can... - Yeah, I just thought... - No, it's okay. - I thought those were ears. - Um, it's okay. - That's her hair. Okay, yep. - I know. I hear that. Scott got his first tattoo when he was 16. - Oh, okay. - It was of Kermit the Frog. Oh. - That's kind of cute. - Yeah, yeah. Kermit smoking a joint, so... Kermit smoking a joint? Geez, I don't remember that episode on Sesame Street, huh?
The King of Staten Island
42.6s
I don't know, like, this... like, what is this? - And I don't know why... - This? - This is... - I want to do what normal people do. Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I... It-it might be weird, you know. We've known each other for, like, ever. Since fourth grade. It would be like incest. No, it wouldn't. No, it's like, yeah, w-we're best pals, and I wouldn't want to, like, jeopardize our friendship or something like that over something... not silly, but, you know, it's just... it's a big risk. But we've already done the deed. - I mean, what else is there? - "Done the deed"? - I don't know. - But, you know, it's just, - you deserve somebody way better than me. - What? You're a good guy. - You're a good guy. I like you. - Uh... Well, I... Based on what? I mean, I like you, too. It's just like...
The King of Staten Island
23.3s
- I don't know, can I say something? I, um... - Yeah. I just still don't understand why this is such a big secret. You know why it's a big secret. 'Cause it's special. It's-it's, like, our thing, you know? It-it wouldn't be special if everybody knew about it. Yeah, but I don't just want to do this. Yeah, I totally get that. So, should we stop? No, I...
The King of Staten Island
35.9s
Think we're gonna take these pansy Spinners tonight? Oh, man, we can't take the Spinners, - you might as well just shut it down. - Mm. We should just pack it in, send these guys back to Single-A. My kid's Little League team could give these guys a run for their money. These guys are all on the job, too. The old ballbuster here... he's the senior man of the house. Did you call me a senior? You're the one who's bald. Come on, Papa. I'm just fucking around. Hey, you want a hot dog? Oh, no, I can't. I, uh, I have Crohn's. What's that? It's, like, when the lining of your stomach is all messed up, so it makes you shit all the time. Oh, thanks for sharing.
The King of Staten Island