Found 309 results

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1.2s
Arthur!

Joker

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3s
Shit. Shit.

Joker

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3.6s
Yeah. What's with the makeup then?

Joker

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Signs down.

Joker

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2.1s
I'm gonna get a coffee.

Joker

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2.2s
Oh, that's very funny, Murray.

Joker

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1.5s
Thank you, Murray.

Joker

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34.9s
Okay, hold on. Hold on. There's nothing funny about that. I lived with my mother before I made it. Just me and her. I'm that kid whose father went out for a pack of cigarettes, and he never came back. Aww. I know what that's like, Murray. I've been the man of the house for as long as I can remember. I take good care of my mother. All that sacrifice, she must love you very much. She does. She always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She says I was put here to spread joy and laughter. Aww.

Joker

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11.6s
Happy, what was that? Are you okay? Mom, what? That noise! Did you hear that noise? I'm watching an old war movie! Turn it down! Um...

Joker

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1.2s
Here.

Joker

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1.5s
Are we clear?

Joker

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1m16s
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to... ♪ Hoyt, please, I love this job. Arthur, I need to know why you brought a gun into a kids' hospital. It's a prop. It's part of my act now. That's bullshit. Bullshit. What kind of clown carries a fucking gun? Besides, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off him last week. Randall told you that? You're a fuck-up, Arthur, and a liar. You're fired!

Joker

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43.2s
- Oh, hey. - Hey. Were you following me today? Yeah. I thought that was you. I was hoping you'd come in and rob the place. I have a gun. I could come by tomorrow. You're so funny, Arthur. Yeah. You know, I do stand-up comedy. You should maybe come see a show sometime. I could do that. Yeah? Yeah. You'll let me know when? Yeah.

Joker

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16.2s
It's something I'll address once I have tenure, but for now... She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis, I think I might be in danger of failing your 'Intro to Western Civ, ' and I just want you to know I'm willing to do anything to pass." And I said, "Anything?" And she said...

Joker

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7.7s
It's Monday and Wednesday, three to five. She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis." I can't use my real last name at this college 'cause they don't hire Jews.

Joker

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7.7s
I know. I know. Why is she a senior in the intro? I didn't buy it either. So, she comes to me during my office hours.

Joker

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4s
...and my wife is a senior in my "Intro To Western Civ."

Joker

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4.5s
So, I'll tell you how I operate. I'm a professor at a prestigious New England university...

Joker