Found 1049 results
47.2s
- Oh, my God! - Jackpot, baby! - Can you believe this? - Nadia, I would have never known. I have an announcement that I would like to make. There is a gorgeous woman... masturbating on my bed! - Thank you, Nadia! - If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. - What am I supposed to do, Kev? - Seduce her. Wha... What the hell would I say? Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. - That's stupid, Kev. I can't... - That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! Come on! Get over there! - Get goin', man. She's prime. - Get out of here! - She's waitin' for you. - Okay, all right. I'm goin'. - Go! - Go! - I'm goin'! - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Oh, shit.
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie
2m46s
- We're gonna do this. - All right, to the next step! - Next step! Next step! Next step! # I have visions I was in them I was lookin' into the mirror # # To see a little bit clearer # # The rottenness and evil in me # # Fingertips have memories I can't forget the curves of your body # # And when I feel a bit naughty # # I run it up the flagpole and see # # Who salutes but no one ever does # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell # # Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding # # The cretins cloning and feeding # - Well, did you get the flowers? - # And I don't even own a TV # # Hear the voices in my head I swear to God # # It sounds like they're snoring # # But if you're poor and you're boring # # The agony and the irony # # They're killing me # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell ## Don't worry. You'll get her back soon enough. - You think so? - Sure, she likes you. - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? Um, you know what? You can't really ask me that. Well, if you want to get her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her. - That's how I was duped. - Look, Jessica, I- I don't want to dupe her. All right. What you need to do... is learn how to press a girl's buttons. You have to give her what she's never had. - What's that? - Let me give you a hint. Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah. - Comprende? - You mean an orgasm. - You got it, stud! - Well, you know, I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've... given her a... - No, you haven't. - Well, there was one time... - No. - Oh, man. - Look, kid, it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O." - Dickhead! - You gotta see this. - # Do you believe in # - # Magic in a young girl's heart # - # Ooh, ooh # # How the music can free her whenever it starts # # And it's magic if the music is groovy # - # It makes you feel happy # - What did you cocks do to him? - # I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul # - # Ooh, ooh, ooh # # But it's like tryin' to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ## Great. See you next time.
American Pie
33.2s
You mean East Lansing and Ann Arbor? Yeah. What are you talkin' about? I can't go to the prom with you. I'm holding out for someone else. You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. I know it's a long shot, but I figure Paul Finch might ask me. Finch. Shit-brick. Oh, gosh. I-I forgot. You look okay. I-I mean, the scars healed really well. - Hey, Stifler. - Eat shit.
American Pie
34.6s
- See you at dinner. - Uh, yeah. I'll see you at dinner. So, Finch, this is your plan? You know, I don't think girls are into the whole mini-golf thing. Kevin, I'm sure that they're not. Actually, there is one small matter that I need to ask for your cooperation in. - In the spirit of this whole pact, you know? - Sure, what do you need? Whatever you hear about me, you agree. And tell all the boys the same thing. Look, I gotta go. Sixteen minutes round-trip. You know, Finch, it's... it's senior year. I mean, don't you think it's time you learned how to take a dump at school? When was the last time you looked at the facilities in this school?
American Pie
41.2s
# She's open waiting for more # # And I know he's only lookin' to score # - # Often they've typically # - Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. # Been starved for attention before ## Oh, boy. Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, no. Hello? - Looks like Jim addressed the e-mail wrong. - What? It went out to every mailbox in the East High directory. God, how juvenile. Hey, hey, hey, guys! - # Baby # - Check this out! Oh, my God!
American Pie
46.3s
Laid-back Jim... or... Cool, hip Jim? I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. What? Correct me if I'm wrong but you're the one with the girlfriend... and you're still stranded on third base. Hey, at least I know what third base feels like, okay? - You're still just a batboy. - Batboy. Batboy. What are you talking about? Guys, uh... What exactly does third base feel like? You wanna take this one? - Like warm apple pie. - Yeah? - Yeah. Apple pie, huh? McDonald's or homemade? Gentlemen, destiny awaits.
American Pie