Okay, fine. I will help you. On one condition. Name it. You reinstate me as Head of Nuclear Research, so I can finish building my bomb.
The Dictator
35.1s
Allison! Are you okay? I... Yes. You know what? You people, you make me sick! You see a Middle Easterner on an aircraft and you just assume that he's hatching some violent plot? Allison Burgers is a persecuted dissident, not a murderous madman! He was reported saying, "Let's take out the guards at the Lancaster." Guess what? We deliver to the Lancaster! Good one! Maybe he wanted to take the guards out for a falafel! That's a bit of a stereotype, but I get the idea. Great idea! Yeah. You... You know what? Is it a crime to care about your job? Yeah! Well, it is in Wadiya.
The Dictator
8.5s
Where did you get your diversity and sensitivity training, huh? The Stasi? Let's see how you feel about racial profiling when white people...
The Dictator
4.3s
And I know what I'm talking about because I majored in Fem Lit!
Look! One of the customers left a tip of some Nair and some female razors. Does anybody want to use it?
The Dictator
3.3s
Hey, Allison, can you take out the garbage? Thanks.
The Dictator
5.8s
Whoa, whoa! Occupied! Out. I have to clean. Come on, out you go, out you go. - What? You're hurting me! - Out. Come on.
The Dictator
1.2s
Next!
The Dictator
8.6s
I need a little of the quinoa salad, please, and throw a couple of extra cranny-b's on top, if you could, and I kind of need you to hurry up, chief. Chop-chop.
The Dictator
3.9s
Hey, my man! Excuse me. Hairnet! Yeah.
The Dictator
1.7s
Yeah? Hold on one second.
The Dictator
1m7s
Here is the plan. We're going to take this helicopter tour and fly over the Lancaster to spot its weaknesses. Remember, we're just two ordinary American tourists looking at the sights. Don't worry, nobody gonna suspect anything. It's a great plan, pointy. Don't do anything to arouse any suspicions. Don't worry. I am Wadiya's number one actor. You don't win four Wadiyan Golden Globes for nothing. Yes, you do, because you gave them to yourself! My performance in Aladeen Jones and the Temple ofDoom was outstanding. I give it thumbs down. Have you seen You've Got Mail Bomb? Yes, I've seen them all! They're all terrible movies! Listen to me. Okay? You are a terrible actor. I urge you, right now, keep your performance small and real. All right, can you get me a cloak? Why? Because I think my guy would be wearing a cloak. No, your guy wears an American flag sweatsuit and a sheriff's badge. I need the sheriff's badge. For what? You're sheriff of American douche-town! That's rude. Listen. We're going to walk over there, act very inconspicuous. - Okay. No problem. - This has to work. Don't worry. Just relax.
The Dictator
26.9s
Hey, buddy, I saw that. That is very disrespectful to your leader. Whatever, dude. Who are you, Osama bin Laden's best friend? No, he is not my best friend! Though he has been staying in my guest house ever since they shot his double last year. Now the guy won't leave. I know why this guy's the most hated man in the world. You just have to go to the bathroom after him. You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism.