Found 333 results
1m24s
My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off. Leads! Now, that is just ridiculous, Dude. No one's going to cut your dick off. Thank you, Walter. Not if I have anything to say about it. Thank you, Walter. That makes me feel very secure. Dude? That makes me feel very warm inside, man. Dude? This whole fucking thing. I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. But no, man, I got a, you know... Yeah. Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. They were Nazis, Dude? Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Uh-huh. Are we gonna split hairs here? No. Am I wrong? Well, he didn't... Man, they were nihilists, man. They kept saying they believed in nothing. Nihilists. Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it's an ethos. Yeah. And, also, let's not forget... Let's not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for, you know, domestic... Within the city... That ain't legal, either. What are you, a fucking park ranger now? No! I'm just trying to... Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? e are sympathmng here, Dude. Fuck sympathy. I don't need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking johnson.
The Big Lebowski
50.5s
Here on the range I belong Drifting along With the tumbling Tumbleweeds Where's the money, Lebowski? I want that money, Lebowski. Bunny says you're good for it. Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead? It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look.
The Big Lebowski
32.3s
Is this your homework, Larry? Look, man, it... Dude. Please? ls this your homework, Larry? Just ask him about the car, man. Is this yours, Larry? ls this your homework, Larry? Is that your car out front? Is this your homework, Larry? We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money, you little brat? Look, Larry, have you ever heard of Vietnam? For Christ's sake, Walter. You are entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole the car. And the fucking money. And the fucking money! And we know that this is your homework! We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry. You're killing your father, Larry.
The Big Lebowski
45s
This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation. Yes, yes. Not of California. Good shot. In fact, he met privately with the President, though, unfortunately, there wasn't enough time for a photo opportunity. Oh, Nancy's pretty good. Oh, wonderful woman. We were very happy to... These are... Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak. Different mothers, huh? No, they're not... Racially, he's pretty cool? They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, inner city children of promise, but without the necessary means for... Necessary means for a higher education, so Mr. Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college. Excuse me. Oh, geez. Thank you. Thank you. Far out. Think he's got room for one more? One... Oh.
The Big Lebowski
48.4s
This is the study. As you can see, the various commendations, awards... "Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations, honorary degrees, et cetera. Very impressive. Oh, please feel free to inspect them. Oh. No, I'm not really... Oh, please. Please. That is the key to the city of Pasadena, which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago in recognition of his various civic... Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, which is given... Oh, not necessarily given every year. Hey, is this... Given only when there's a worthy somebody... ls this him with Nancy? Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes. It was taken when Mrs. Reagan... That's Lebowski on the left there? Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left... So he's a... You know, a handicapped kind of guy? Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes.
The Big Lebowski
1m12s
Wait. Let me explain something to you. I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know? That or His Dudeness, or Duder or, you know, El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Are you employed, sir? Employed? You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that, do you? On a weekday? Is this a... What day is this? Well, I do work, sir. So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, you know. This aggression will not stand, man. I mean, your wife owes money... My wife is not the issue here! I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, which is ample. But if she does not, that is her problem, not mine, just as the rug is your problem. Just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, regardless of who he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. But I went out and achieved anyway.
The Big Lebowski
32.2s
- This is not a worthy fucking adversary. - Hey! What's this day-of-rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you not fooling me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office but you don't fool Jesus. It's Bush league psych-out stuff. Laughable, man! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday. I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. You got a date VVednesday,baby!
The Big Lebowski
3m3s
Just got home from Illinois Locked the front door, oh, boy Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch Imagination sets in Pretty soon I'm singin' Doo,doo,doo Looking out my back door Keeping mighty cool. There's a giant doing cartwheels A statue wearing high heels Look at all the happy creatures Dancing on the lawn A dinosaur Victrola listening to Buck Owens Doo, doo, doo Looking out my back door Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band Doo,doo,doo Wondrous apparition provided by magician Doo,doo,doo Looking out my back door Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon? Doo,doo,doo Bother me tomorrow Today I'll buy no sorrows Doo,doo,doo Looking out my back door He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger. No, the ln-N-Out Burger's on Camrose. Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those are good burgers, Walter. Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid is in the ninth grade, Dude. And his father is... Are you ready for this? His father is Arthur Digby Sellers. Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers? VVhO the... Have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude? Yes, yes, I... "All but one man died there at Bitter Creek." I know the fucking show, Walter. So what? Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude. The bulk of the series. Oh. Not exactly a lightweight. No. And yet his son is a fucking dunce.
The Big Lebowski
33.3s
Well, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. Yes, that's your answer. That's your answer to everything. Tattoo it on your forehead! Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! My advice to you is to do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose! Do you hear me, Lebowski? The bums will always lose. How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski? Okay» The old man told me to take any rug in the house.
The Big Lebowski
1m7s
We didn't... They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What the fuck are you talking about? The poor woman, that poor slut kidnapped herself. Come on, Dude. You said so yourself. Man, I said I thought she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain. That's right, Dude. 100% certain. They posted the next round for the tournament. Donny, shut the fuck... When do we play? This Saturday. Quintana and... Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule. Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski? I told that fuck down at the league office. V\Iho's in charge of scheduling? Walter! Burkhalter. I told that kraut a fucking thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos! Walter! They already posted it. Well, they can fucking un-post it! Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back. How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? I'm shomer shabbos. What's that, Walter? Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski? Saturday, Donny, is shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Sheesh. Shomer shabbos!
The Big Lebowski
1m10s
I got to tender my resignation or whatever because looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all. She most certainly was not. Hey, man, why don't you fucking listen occasionally? You might learn something. Now, I got... Please don't call her my mother. She's most definitely the perpetrator and not the victim. I'm telling you, I've got pretty definitive evidence. From who? From the main guy, Uli. Uli Kunkel? Her costar in the beaver picture? You mean vagina? I mean, you know the guy? I might have introduced them, for all I know. Do you remember Uli? He's a musician. Used to have a group, Autobahn. Look in my LP's. They released one album in the late '70s. Their music is sort of a techno pop. So he's pretending to be the abductor? V\Iell, yeah. Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap someone you're acquainted with. The whole idea is that the hostage can't identify you after you've let them go. Well, I know that.
The Big Lebowski
2m56s
See them tumbling down Pledging their love to the ground Way out West there was this fella. Fella I wanna tell you about. Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. Least that was the handle that his loving parents gave him. But he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. Now Dude, that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, and a lot about where he lived likewise. Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interesting. I know when night has gone That a new world's born at dawn They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. Course, I can't say I seen London, and I never been to France, and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says. But I'll tell you what, after seeing Los Angeles and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I've seen something every bit as stupefying as you can see in any of those other places, and in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face without feeling like the good Lord gypped me. Now, this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early '90s, just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis. I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero? But sometimes there's a man... And I'm talking about the Dude here. Sometimes there's a man... Well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Dude in Los Angeles. And even if he is a lazy man, and the Dude was most certainly that, quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide. But sometimes there's a man... Sometimes there's a man... Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... Hell, I done introduced him enough. ...with them all for a collective action. This will not stand. This will not stand, this aggression against Kuwait.
The Big Lebowski
30.3s
We fuck you up! Show me what you got, nihilists. I fuck you! Walter, come on. He's got a sword. Fucking dipshit with a nine-toed woman! I fuck you! Fuck you! I fuck you! Take it easy, man. I fuck you! Take the $4. I fuck you! I fuck you! I'm gonna hit you with the fucking ball, man.
The Big Lebowski
38.7s
Whose toe was it, Walter? How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates... The nail polish, Walter. Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe... Someone else... Pinking shears. Where the fuck are they gonna get... You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Yeah, but, Walter... Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish. These fucking amateurs. Walter... They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ! Walter... The point is... They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me. Dude, that's...
The Big Lebowski
1m4s
As for this kidnapping. Huh? Yes, I know all about it, and I know that you acted as courier. Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven. Yeah, right, but let me explain something about the rug. Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? Excuse me? Sex, the physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it? I was talking about my rug. You're not interested in sex? You mean coitus? I like it, too. It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. However, there are some people, it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women, who engage in it compulsively and without joy. Oh, no. Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski. These unfortunate souls cannot love, in the true sense of the word. Our mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. Listen, Maude, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but, you know, I don't see what this has to do with... You have any Kahlua? Take a look at this, sir.
The Big Lebowski