Found 285 results
1m45s
Well, I know you're into art, so I thought you could expand your horizons while I'm gone. You got a gift receipt for this? - You okay? - Fine... Yeah. Wh-What do you mean? Yeah, I'm... You gonna be okay without me here? What, you don't think I can survive here without you? Okay, just don't be a dick, okay? Like, be nice to Mom, okay? Don't give her a hard time. - She deserves a break. - I always give her a-a break. What are you... When's... When am I gonna get my break? Like... What are you talking about? All anyone ever does is worry about you. I was ignored my entire childhood 'cause of you. Oh, yeah, I forgot that my childhood was so dandy. Okay, you don't get to act crazy your whole life just 'cause Dad died, okay? At least you got to know him. Well, you're lucky you didn't get to know him, okay? 'Cause that's why you're almost normal. If you got to know him, you would've known that he was, like, the fucking coolest guy ever, and that would've ruined the rest of your life. Okay, like, but what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get a job or are you gonna leave the house? I don't know. I-I'm gonna open that tattoo restaurant. No, like, for real. I am being real. It's a great... It's never been done before. I looked it up. I googled it. It's never been done, not even as a joke. Because no one wants to go to a restaurant and watch people get tattooed while they eat. - It's gross. - It's the best idea ever. Ruby Tattoosdays, where everyone's welcome. - Chicken and tattoos. - That's not a business! You know, you got to get your shit together. Time is passing by very quickly. That's why I smoke weed all the time, okay? It slows it all down. Fucking God. See, I'm worried about you. Well, why now? You never gave a shit. You, like, literally never cared until this second. Like, wh-what, what gives? You never looked out for me once. You're my older brother. You're supposed to look out for me. You're-you're just guilty 'cause you're leaving? Now, all of a sudden, you're afraid I'm gonna die? I was gonna die anyway, whether you stay or not. - Are you gonna hurt yourself? - Probably. Yeah, I'm probably gonna hurt myself. I don't know how, but yeah.
The King of Staten Island
29.7s
That's kind of funny. He's a funny kid, then, huh? - Oh, he's so funny. - Yeah? - He's so funny. - You think he's gonna stick it out? Uh, well, that I don't know. I mean, I sent him to art school, but he quit. - He-he couldn't really focus 'cause... - Oh. He also has ADD, so he... Anyway, he's a tattoo artist with ADD. Well, you know what? All the guys down at the firehouse, they all have tattoos and stuff, you know. Personally, I never got one, though, you know. You know, not that I have anything against them. I just, I just always felt I was too pasty.
The King of Staten Island
2m6s
Yeah, hello. My name's Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold. I'm sorry. What's going on? Well, it seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos, and my son was one of his victims. What? Well, I-I don't understand. How do you know it was my son? How'd you get this address? I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways. Are you a cop? No, I'm a fireman, okay? I work for a living. Look at this. Do you believe this? You see that there? See that line? I don't know if you burn these off or what, but we're taking care of this and you're paying for it, you understand me? - I don't know what this is. - Scott! Oh. I am... I'm so sorry. I-I-I... There's an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work, and it can completely remove it. Uh, I get a discount. I'm-I'm gonna pay for the whole thing. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm... I feel terrible. You should feel terrible! Look at that! - What's up? Oh, fuck. - Ah, there he is. - You get your ass out here! - Hey, he said he was 18. He looks like he's four, you fucking moron! Sorry. - He consented! - He's lying. - Harold, come on! - Course he's lying! You can't have consent! He's nine years old! Dad, let's go. You're embarrassing me. We're not going anywhere, okay? He's just a little kid! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Uh, he was roaming around in the woods. He wanted a tattoo. W-Where were you? I was at fucking work! - Fuck you! - Hey! - Come out here! If I was you, I'd shut your fucking mouth, because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail. - For what? - For sticking needles in a kid's arm, you fucking dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him? You know, there's no reason to call the cops. I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him. Well, clearly you can't or you wouldn't have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will! I asked him to do it. - It's not his fault. - That's right. That's my man. Go wait in the car. Harold, go on. And don't raise your voice at me, either. Later, Harold. Don't say goodbye to my kid. Look both ways. - Look both ways! - Go to your room. - I am! - Watch your mouth. For your information, I am not a middle-aged man. I'm a 24-year-old man, and I'm going to my room 'cause I fucking want to. What kind of fucking animal are you raising in this house, huh? I'm bringing you the bill. I don't care what it costs, all right? - I mean, what the fuck is going on around here? - All right. Just give me a day to arrange the laser. All right. You know, you know something? I-Is his father home? Where's his dad? I-I don't, I don't want to fucking yell at you. He's deceased.
The King of Staten Island
1m7s
Comically huge mustache. Is this what he looked like? That's exactly what he looked like. - You're scared of me. - Yeah. Yo, he-he... And that's not funny. He burst into the door, started screaming, and his mustache was flapping all over the place. - Flapping. - He looked the Monopoly Man. It was terrifying. "Look both ways! Look both ways!" - Fucking maniac. - But I will say, probably not a good idea to tattoo children in the woods. - Yeah, probably. - You know, you could get in trouble. - Yeah, you could. - Why did you do that? I don't know. I thought I would get away with it. Plus, I thought he was, like, at least 15, you know? - Oh, really? - I got... Yeah, I got my first tattoo... - How old was he? - Nine. You thought he was 15? - Yeah, I'm fucking... - Maybe you've been smoking too much. I think I'm just stupid. Uh... No, you should see my mom, though. - It's so weird since my sister left. - Yeah. She's just crying all the time and, like, - she's trying to talk to me and hang out with me. - Mm. The other day, she asked me to go to Nordstrom Rack. I almost slit my throat. Did you go? No. I pretended to be asleep. Oh, come on, she... Maybe she needs company. She's lonely without your sister. Yeah, she's-she's, she's gonna be lonely. I mean, you should've seen her at my sister's send-off party. It was, it was really weird.
The King of Staten Island
1m17s
Guys, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean... we don't listen to anything you say. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, why do you even try to give us advice? So, what do you want a tattoo of? The Punisher. - The Punisher? - Okay. - That's tough, man. - All right. He could've said anything. He said The Punisher. Oh, yeah, I could do that. Is that it? Yeah, that's him. - Are you sure? - Yes. Do I have your legal permission to do this? - Yes. - That's good enough for me. - How about you guys? - Holds up in court. You guys heard it. All right. Yo, he can't get consent. He's ten. Now, hold still, okay? 'Cause it is permanent. Yo, guys. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. - Put your game face on. - Don't worry, dude. This will just be on you for the rest of your life. There you go. - Look at you, tough guy. - There you go. - I don't want to do it! - Uh... - I don't wanna! - Well, I got to finish it. - Now there's just a line. - Calm down, man. - You're gonna look stupid. Sit back down. Relax. - Calm down. - Sit down. Do it. - Relax. - Whoa! Hey! - Hey! - Hey! - Hey, run! Run, kid! - Hey! Run, little man! Run! Run! Goddamn it. I fucking believed in that kid, man. He seemed so tough at first, uh, but then immediately wasn't. That's why I don't fuck with millennials, dude. Again, we are the millennials. He keeps saying that, but I don't know what that means. I regret my friendship with you guys.
The King of Staten Island
51.4s
Oh. Oh. I-I already arranged to, uh, pay directly at the hospital. But if you want a check, just give me two minutes, okay? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm-I'm... I-I want to pay. I'm gonna pay for it. I'm gonna pay for it. No, no, no. I'm gonna pay for it. And I'm, and I'm also gonna talk to Scott because that was totally out of line, totally nuts. Yeah, I-I understand that. But, uh, look, I just wanted to apologize, okay? I-I got a little out of control before, uh... You know, I just, I let my anger get the best of me. Broke my stupid resolution. God knows it's what messed up my marriage, and I-I just really wanted to apologize, okay? I mean, I was upset, but I-I shouldn't have conveyed it that way. There's no need to apologize. My kid's being a fucking lunatic. It's not cool. Oh, I... I overreacted. He's fine. No, it's the tip of the iceberg. Ah, you know, lot of kids do stuff like this. Mm, kids don't do stuff like this. He did the second-worst thing you could do to a kid in the woods.
The King of Staten Island
40.9s
There was a party? Yeah. Why wasn't I invited? To a high school graduation party? Well, who was there? It was, you know, it was just family and... shit. What, you don't want me to be around your family? I've known them since I was ten. Well, yeah, I just... I didn't think it was something you would want to go to. I'm-I'm sorry. Come on, that's fucked up. Why? Why is that fucked up? Because we're, you know, doing something here. We're... Are-are we doing something here? I don't know, we're starting a thing. I mean, we're having sex and we're hanging out a lot. - I mean, it's... - I thought it was just, like, more, you know, casual than that. You know?
The King of Staten Island
1m6s
All right. - You're all done. - That looks really good. Yeah, I mean, I wish you'd let me do something cooler, but yeah. Oh, fuck no. That hurts so bad. - Another dumb tattoo. - Yeah, but I-I like the pain. The-the pain is the whole point of getting tattoos. Don't you just love when you're getting tattooed, and it hits the bone and pinches a nerve, and you're like... I'm not a fan of the pain. You shouldn't let him do it to you, all right? He's inconsistent. I think that tattoo's dumb. Y'all should've told me when you saw the design. It says, "Unfollow me." You don't even have that many followers. Carla follows me. - Bro, she's imaginary. - Carla not real. Carla's not real, dude. How many times do we have to say this? She's not real. I hate bugs, dawg. I'm a gangster! No, that's a bee, bro! There's a kid down there. - Yo, kid! - Oh, yo. - Yo, kid, what's up? - Oh, shit, there is a kid. What are you doing? You hanging out on the beach? Come here, come here. Don't-don't be shy. No stranger danger here. I'm not gonna touch you. - What's up, pal? - What are you doing? I'm looking for my friend. "Looking for my friend." You want to be friends with us? We're the good guys, right? - You can hang out with us, pal. - Come on. Let me get some of that. Put it right there.
The King of Staten Island
1m2s
Hey. Hey. Uh... I was thinking of finally seeing that Game of Thrones. Should I binge it? Oh, it's a, it's a pretty violent show. You sure you could watch that? I work in an emergency room. Right, yeah. So, you could probably handle a good pillage. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe I'll start watching it. - Yeah. - You watch it with me? Um, well, I actually just kind of finished it, so I-I don't... It's really fresh in my mind, so I-I would probably... - Okay. - I can watch some of them. Uh, I don't think I can watch all of them again, but... - Well... - I'll see you later, then. All right. Uh, are you okay? Or... Oh. Yeah? Come on. Uh, it's, it-it's... It's okay. It's... I-I'm here. Uh, I'm here. Don't-don't worry about it. She's, you know... Well, she's only, like, 45 minutes away, and she'll-she'll probably call in, like, five minutes.
The King of Staten Island
32.9s
You know what? It's fine. - What? - No, it's fine. Come back. I'm sor... Wait. Wai... - You know what? You're right. - What? What are you talking about? I'm never right. No, you're right. We shouldn't do this anymore. I don't want to fucking do this anymore. What are you talking about? I don't understand. It was all a mistake. It was a mistake. But it's fine. We're on the same page. We'll go back to what it was before. I'll treat you like I do Oscar and Richie. I-It's not even that. It's just, like, I-I don't know what I want yet. Like, I'm trying to figure my shit out. And you should. Please do. Figure your shit out. But we're not gonna have sex anymore, okay? I got to go.
The King of Staten Island
18.4s
Postcoital. If you ever come to see me, if you ever come see me, that's... - It'll happen that night, I guarantee it. - Yeah, I know. Oh, here he is. - Hey. - Hey. - How you doing? - Good. How are you? Good to see you again. Yeah. Uh, I'm-I'm really sorry for branding your kid. Oh, no, no, no. It's-it's fine. It's fine. Cost 350, but I didn't make your mom pay for it.
The King of Staten Island