Found 285 results
49.7s
They went to high school together. They went to fucking high school together. I'm like, "Only Stan could get away with that." I swear to God. Well, you know, the rumor is that he got the coke from the cops. Not that cop. There was another cop he knew in Manhattan. What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No. - Coke? What? No. - Guys, guys, guys. - Guys, it's his dad. - So? - I didn't know it was a secret. - It's his dad. You can't just tease me with that. - Please, guys, but... - It was... You don't understand. My mom, my mom tells me all these stories about how much he's like a saint and all that shit. Like, I-I would love to hear a coke story. - Please. - The PG-13 version. No, you don't... No, the real version. You don't understand the amount of pressure I'm under, - thinking this guy's perfect. - All right, fuck it, fuck it. All right, we were coked out of our minds. - Nice. - All right? We all were. We all... Well, I mean, uh, we were. - But that was a different time. I mean, we all did it. - Right. This guy was the cokehead. - You were the cokehead. - All right. I stopped four years ago. You know that. What are you talk... How do you think he stayed this skinny all these years? No, I have a high metabolism. They should have his face on a nickel in Bolivia.
The King of Staten Island
1m8s
Oh, well, that's not gonna work. Why not? I could just use a hair dryer and ruin him. Keep thinking, though. What do you got? What do you like to do? - I like to sing. - You do? Could-could you sing for me? Sure. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful morning ♪ Yes. ♪ Oh, what a beautiful day ♪ All right. ♪ I've got a wonderful feeling ♪ ♪ Everything's going my way. ♪ That shit was dope. High five. She's a good singer. I don't agree with the sentiment of the song, but it was really great. Anyway, have a great day at school. Uh... I hope it's not shitty, and, um, yeah, give your, uh, sister a kiss goodbye. - We don't do that. - Just do it. See? Wasn't that nice? Now, if she dies tomorrow, you'll remember that, that you kissed her goodbye. Have a good day at school. - Later, man. - Pay attention. - Why would I die? - I don't know. You never know what's gonna happen. Think you're immortal?
The King of Staten Island
38.1s
Huh. Got here as soon as I could. Hey, man, we got to help this guy. He's bleeding out. This a cop? He looks like a cop. Excuse me, ma'am. Ray Bishop, Ladder 57. We got to get this guy some help. We got to move it along here. - Follow me. - Okay, come on, buddy. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Here we go, here we go, here we go. All right. Abdominal wound! There we go. Where? Where? Put him in Two. In Two. Let's get vitals. - All right, buddy. - All right, get him right here. We got to get your shirt off. Let me know if you need trauma. - Oh, shit. - Okay. Here we go. - Nice and easy, nice and easy. - I'll meet you at Six. Six.
The King of Staten Island
31.4s
♪ Ain't no music... ♪ - ♪ I ♪ - ♪ I need ♪ ♪ Need smoke ♪ ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ ♪ I need ♪ ♪ I... ♪ Sorry. I'm sorry. ♪ To smoke ♪ ♪ Who gon' hold me down now? ♪ ♪ I wanna get high, y'all ♪ ♪ Whoa ♪ ♪ I wanna get high, y'all ♪ ♪ Need it, need it to get by... ♪ I'm sorry. I'm sorry. ♪ Need it to get by, y'all. ♪
The King of Staten Island
2m36s
Hey, hey, wait. Hey, hey, guys. Look, look. You can't be here, man. - Y-You got to go. - Why? It's private property, that's why. It's an abandoned orphanage. Why can't we be here? Who gives a shit, man? What are you doing here? You fucking protecting the ghosts of dead orphans? Look, fat Kanye, shut your damn mouth. I'll be back in five minutes for you assholes. If you're still here, I'm calling the cops, period. You better get the cops, man, 'cause you're a fake cop. - You need the real ones. - Motherfuckers. - Fuck all of y'all. - I feel bad. We-we were a little too mean. - Yeah. - He's nice. Yeah, he's a really good guy. See, that guy... that is what is wrong with Staten Island. We don't get any cool people from any of the other boroughs. No one comes here. We're stuck with the fucking pricks that live here. You're talking about us. Right in front of us. Yeah, kinda. I mean, no one comes here. There's no flow of people. That guy's, like, 200. We've known him since we were six. Why can't we be cool like Brooklyn? There's no reason we shouldn't be cool like Brooklyn. We got amazing views. It's close to the city. It's cheap. Nice people. It makes no sense. We're, like, the only place that New Jersey looks down on. You could see the garbage dump from space. This place is never gonna change. No, it happened to the Meatpacking District, the Village. Brooklyn used to be a fucking shithole. We are next. I'm gonna take my civil service test. I'm gonna work in the city, in city planning. You watch, this place is gonna be like fucking Williamsburg - in ten years. - No, all right? No. Nobody wants that. Why do you want to work in the city and do city planning? That sounds so boring. I feel like Brooklyn is better. I dated a guy that lived in Brooklyn. He was a mixologist. He made ice cubes out of milk. - He was so classy. - Shut up! I love Staten Island. It's amazing. And people are gonna see it soon, trust me. Well, if you love it so much, why don't you let me tattoo it on you? No, I'm not gonna let you tattoo me again. Fine. Well, I need somebody to tattoo. I'm, I-I'm running out of... Come on, Rich. What about you, man? - Don't even look at me, dude. - Why? Your work is mad inconsistent. Obama ain't right. I got the eyes wrong, okay? He's not right. All right, man, this has hurt me, all right? I don't have any black friends anymore. I can't go to a barber shop no more. You got Obama wrong. Ain't nothing worse than that. What about you, Igor? You want a dragon or something? Oh, I love your tattoos. My brother? It's a spitting image. - Yeah. It's one of the best. - It's my favorite. No, no, no, no. This is my favorite. Oh, you killed that. - Yeah, I really worked hard on the eyes. - Just... He's so cute. I love his butthole. It reminds me that I have a belly button. - So, I'm good. - Yeah, I got to go. Watching you beg to give tattoos is too sad. And that's freaking me out. We're almost done. Almost.
The King of Staten Island
2m27s
Hey, busboy, why is table 12 still dirty? Oh, 'cause they were talking. I didn't think I should interrupt them, but... Interrupt them. Get them out of here. - All right. - Do your job. - Sorry. Whoa. - Take it easy there, brother. - My bad. - Jesus. - Thank you. Uh, hi. Uh, are you done enjoying your meal? There is food in my mouth, and I am chewing. Do you think that I'm finished? I'm just holding this for my health? - Get me some water. - Sorry. - Hey, come here. Come here. Can we order? - Uh, yeah. - I'll go get your waiter. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. We don't have time for that. We're in a hurry. I'm starving. Okay. Can I go? Usually, the woman goes first, but go ahead. - No, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah? - How about I'm paying? - All right. Can I have a chicken parm with meat sauce? No marinara. Thin. Thin chicken parm. Why aren't you writing it down? Yeah, I-I can't actually because, uh, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a busboy, so they don't even give me a pen. Memorize it. Yeah. Seafood pasta. That's what I want. No clams, okay? Double up on the shrimp. That's how I always get it. We come here all the time. I'm not gonna remember a word you guys just said. It's not rocket science. Just go. - Get our shit. - Oh, I'm... All right. I'm starving. ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Grrt, grrt... ♪ There a dance party or something? - It's fight night. - All right, fight night! Tournament of champions! Fighting for tips. Who's going? Who's going first? - I, Zoots. - Zoots. - Everyone fights for their tips. - The tips that we earn? Y-Yeah, but you have to fight for them now. Who wants some?! Huh?! - Huh? - Who got it?! - It's you, bro. - No way. No, no way. - Put the gloves on. Get in there. Get in there. Hit him. - Hey, yo. - Hey. I don't want... Please, I don... I-I don't want to do this. - Let's just not do this. - You don't want to do this? - What do you mean? - No, well, 'cause we're friends, right? Yeah, no, for the next 15 seconds, this friendship is over, son. - Understand that? - What? - Hmm? - What? Got to understand, fighting is serious. - I don't like it. - It's sacred. It's how I tribute my Lord and Savior. - What? - It's the way I tribute my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I don't think Jesus would want you to kick my ass right now. He would want me to have these tips. - That's what he means. - You can have the tips. I don't even want 'em. - What is this? - I don't know. What's this shit? I've seen Creed a f... a couple times. - What'd you do? - I seen Creed a couple times. - Oh. - Are we about to do the Cotton Eye Joe? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Come on, son. - Okay. - Yeah. Okay. - Come on, son. Oh, that's right. You gonna come this way? Come this way, boy. - Okay. - Come on. Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - For real? - Uh-huh, yeah. Come on! - Ooh! Now we are friends, - goddamn it! - Oh, geez. Take that shit. Yeah! We friends now, nigga, 'cause that's what friends are for. Out this bitch.
The King of Staten Island
1m19s
Yoo-hoo. - Excuse me. - Yeah? Hey, man. How you doing? What's up, man? I need some assistance over here, please. - Sure, I... - Hey, give me a sh... - Oh, my God! - Ah, don't worry about it. Listen, everything's all good. It's, uh, really nothing. I just need a little assistance. This is something that needs to be taken care of now. What happened? Are you okay? Did you get shot? - Were you stabbed? - It's not really a big deal. My vape exploded in my pocket. Just... I didn't stretch right before yoga. I was playing tennis. I slipped. - Well, which one is it? - What do you want me to say? It was nothing. I just need some medical attention, but just by you. Dude, I got to call 911. I don't know what to do. No, no, no, listen, listen. No police, please. Not today. - What does that even mean? - No. We don't need to get the government involved into this situation. We can handle this together. Dude, I'm so high. I can't help you right now. I'm high, too. Well, then you know how I feel. What do you want me to do? Take a look at this. I need some sort of foam. - Holy shit! - You got some stitching? - Dude! - Do-do you have, like, a little needle? - Do you have something with a needlepoint? - No. What happened? It was a misunderstanding. It was an argument. But we're all friends again. We worked it out. You know how buddies get. Dude, I... We-we, we got to take you to the hospital - or you're gonna die. - I'm not gonna die. - Yes, you are. - I'm gonna die? Yeah, I'm positive. I'm positive that you're gonna die if we don't go to the hospital.
The King of Staten Island
37.2s
It's a butthole. - Get it? - Oh, my God. ♪ What the fuck, though? Where the love go? ♪ ♪ Oh! ♪ - Uh-huh. - So, we're talking about how the one percent keeps, like, getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and the wealth inequality is just out of control, and we can't continue with capitalism this way. Yeah, I'm s... I'm sick of the rat race. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, what happened to the American dream? I know. It's like an American nightmare now. - Oh, my... Yeah, exa... - Right? ♪ What the fuck, though? Where the love go? ♪ ♪ Five, four, three, two, I let one go, bow ♪ - Bring it... Oh, shit! - Oh! Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
The King of Staten Island
35.4s
Uh, look... I would love to tattoo your back. Okay, cool. All right, but here's the deal. No unicorns. - No rainbows, all right? - Uh. None of that shit little girls like to color in. Okay. No body parts. No nudity. - Okay. - No Chinese letters. - All right. All right, fine. - I want, I... I want to be able to fucking read whatever you put back there. I don't need some o-order for orange chicken or some shit. All right. Here we go. You ready? Yep, let's do it. Let's get it over with. Yeah, I-I really appreciate this. This is... It's actually very nice. Good. All right.
The King of Staten Island
33.1s
But, uh, hey, no harm, no foul. You know? 'Cause, uh, if that didn't happen, I, uh... wouldn't have met this lovely lady. Oh, well, happy to help. Things work out. Yeah. Thank God I did what I did, then. Uh, would you guys like to start with still or, uh, sparkling water? - Oh, let's go sparkling. - Uh, spar... Yeah. Yeah? You like sparkling? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah. Oh, can we get some more bread, too? - Usually go still. - You know? Last time I came here, it came out hot. - Yeah. - It was... oh, it was perfect. It's like my mom made it. Sure. Sparkling and hot bread. All right. Thanks, buddy.
The King of Staten Island
19.6s
And just-just stick to your guns. All right? It'll be fine. Hey. Hey! Come on in. Come have breakfast with us. I made pancakes, and I made the sausage that you like, an omelet. Come, come, come, come sit. Man, these eggs are spectacular. With the onions and the peppers. I love it. I love it.
The King of Staten Island
1m15s
Hey! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny. - Have you been eating? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hey. How are you? This is Ray. - Hey. How you doing? - Oh. - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, I feel like I already know you. Your mom talks about you all the time. - Oh, God. - Oh. No, only good stuff, only good stuff. Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray. - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat. - Could always eat. - Uh-huh. Beautiful school. "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat." Fucking asshole. Look at those two angels, huh? - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you? - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God. - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls. We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway. - They went crazy! - Oh, my God. I love Stomp. What's Stomp? What is that? It's the greatest musical of all time. Yeah, it's, like, that show where people play the drums on, like, garbage cans and, like, tap with broomsticks. - Stuff around the house. - Yeah. Like, you just see a toaster, we make an English muffin. They-they see a whole song. It's incredible. I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids on the subway, for a dollar. And then he took a shit on the platform. Oh. Well, you know. I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but... Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper, they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
The King of Staten Island