Found 285 results
24.4s
Okay, we lost a few guys in an ICE raid. Ah, shit. Sorry. Maybe you should work and go to college. - College is bullshit! - Oh. You know who went to Harvard? The Unabomber. You know who went to Temple? Bill Cosby. You know who else who went to Temple? Ted Bundy. You know who went to Hofstra? Bernie Madoff. You know who went to Wharton? Donald Trump. It's all a scam.
The King of Staten Island
1m0s
Come on. - Let me take you out. - It's so hard to meet people. - I'm totally open. - No, it's... I mean, God... You're not open at all. - It's really hard to meet people. - You're a liar. You're not open. "Hard to meet people"? - I'm in the E.R. All I see is, like... - You meet... - You meet a hundred people a night. - People who were shot... Yeah, they're shot. They're-they're, uh, they're criminals. - Stop limiting yourself. - Who am I gonna meet? Stop limiting yourself. - But I'm at the hospital. - Yeah. - They're not all criminals. - You meet people at work. - That's what it's... - Some of them are victims. Doll... You know, we could put you on two shifts a week, - just-just, just to try it. - I don't need a job. I, uh, I got a contact at a tattoo shop. I'm-I'm hoping for an apprenticeship, so... Then you're gonna need some money. Yeah, some of these guys walk away with 80 bucks in tips. Scott, your cousin's offering you a job. Consider it, okay? If you're good at it, you can become a waiter. Why are you offering me a job anyway? Because I told your father I'd always look out for you. How? He died suddenly in a fire. Uh, did you ask his ghost? That's not witty, Scott. Your dark sense of humor doesn't work for me. I find it funny. It's your sister's big day. Be a gentleman.
The King of Staten Island
1m14s
- Oh, God. Yeah. - So good. We are so proud of our daughter Joanne... and Claire, who's been at our house so much over the years you feel like our second daughter. Thank you, Margie, for lending her to us all these years. You guys have worked so hard, and we are so, so proud of you. Jesus Christ, dial it back, you fucking fruits. Joanne, you are a very special girl. You made our dreams come true, too. You're my sweet angel. No, she's not. It's such an honor to be your parents. You've taught us as much as we've taught you. Claire... You've been through so much, and you've done so well, so much better than any of us could have handled it. Your dad Stan would be so proud of you. He's looking down at you right now. Yes, he is. No, he's not. A toast to Joanne and Claire. So proud. Congratulations! ♪ Please don't ♪ ♪ Make me have to take your bitch ♪ ♪ How I roll, if I'm shining ♪ ♪ Everybody gonna shine... ♪ - What's up, Todd? - What's up, Scott? You going to college, too, someday? I'd like to, yeah. I'd go study law. Oh, yeah? That's awesome, man. That sounds really cool. Do you have any weed? - I do. - Could I have some? - Definitely. I'll go grab it. - Cool. Thanks, Todd.
The King of Staten Island
29.7s
That's kind of funny. He's a funny kid, then, huh? - Oh, he's so funny. - Yeah? - He's so funny. - You think he's gonna stick it out? Uh, well, that I don't know. I mean, I sent him to art school, but he quit. - He-he couldn't really focus 'cause... - Oh. He also has ADD, so he... Anyway, he's a tattoo artist with ADD. Well, you know what? All the guys down at the firehouse, they all have tattoos and stuff, you know. Personally, I never got one, though, you know. You know, not that I have anything against them. I just, I just always felt I was too pasty.
The King of Staten Island
22.1s
Fucking home run, Todd. It makes me sad to think of my little sister sitting in that sad little house, waiting for her son to be perfect. I'm not. Then you're wasting all of this. All of it's getting wasted. - You're a mess. - You're wasted. Mom would be so disappoin... Mom would be disappointed in you. You're the one who's always wasted. You're wasting. It's like leaving food on the table.
The King of Staten Island
2m6s
Yeah, hello. My name's Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold. I'm sorry. What's going on? Well, it seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos, and my son was one of his victims. What? Well, I-I don't understand. How do you know it was my son? How'd you get this address? I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways. Are you a cop? No, I'm a fireman, okay? I work for a living. Look at this. Do you believe this? You see that there? See that line? I don't know if you burn these off or what, but we're taking care of this and you're paying for it, you understand me? - I don't know what this is. - Scott! Oh. I am... I'm so sorry. I-I-I... There's an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work, and it can completely remove it. Uh, I get a discount. I'm-I'm gonna pay for the whole thing. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm... I feel terrible. You should feel terrible! Look at that! - What's up? Oh, fuck. - Ah, there he is. - You get your ass out here! - Hey, he said he was 18. He looks like he's four, you fucking moron! Sorry. - He consented! - He's lying. - Harold, come on! - Course he's lying! You can't have consent! He's nine years old! Dad, let's go. You're embarrassing me. We're not going anywhere, okay? He's just a little kid! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Uh, he was roaming around in the woods. He wanted a tattoo. W-Where were you? I was at fucking work! - Fuck you! - Hey! - Come out here! If I was you, I'd shut your fucking mouth, because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail. - For what? - For sticking needles in a kid's arm, you fucking dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him? You know, there's no reason to call the cops. I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him. Well, clearly you can't or you wouldn't have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will! I asked him to do it. - It's not his fault. - That's right. That's my man. Go wait in the car. Harold, go on. And don't raise your voice at me, either. Later, Harold. Don't say goodbye to my kid. Look both ways. - Look both ways! - Go to your room. - I am! - Watch your mouth. For your information, I am not a middle-aged man. I'm a 24-year-old man, and I'm going to my room 'cause I fucking want to. What kind of fucking animal are you raising in this house, huh? I'm bringing you the bill. I don't care what it costs, all right? - I mean, what the fuck is going on around here? - All right. Just give me a day to arrange the laser. All right. You know, you know something? I-Is his father home? Where's his dad? I-I don't, I don't want to fucking yell at you. He's deceased.
The King of Staten Island
1m7s
Comically huge mustache. Is this what he looked like? That's exactly what he looked like. - You're scared of me. - Yeah. Yo, he-he... And that's not funny. He burst into the door, started screaming, and his mustache was flapping all over the place. - Flapping. - He looked the Monopoly Man. It was terrifying. "Look both ways! Look both ways!" - Fucking maniac. - But I will say, probably not a good idea to tattoo children in the woods. - Yeah, probably. - You know, you could get in trouble. - Yeah, you could. - Why did you do that? I don't know. I thought I would get away with it. Plus, I thought he was, like, at least 15, you know? - Oh, really? - I got... Yeah, I got my first tattoo... - How old was he? - Nine. You thought he was 15? - Yeah, I'm fucking... - Maybe you've been smoking too much. I think I'm just stupid. Uh... No, you should see my mom, though. - It's so weird since my sister left. - Yeah. She's just crying all the time and, like, - she's trying to talk to me and hang out with me. - Mm. The other day, she asked me to go to Nordstrom Rack. I almost slit my throat. Did you go? No. I pretended to be asleep. Oh, come on, she... Maybe she needs company. She's lonely without your sister. Yeah, she's-she's, she's gonna be lonely. I mean, you should've seen her at my sister's send-off party. It was, it was really weird.
The King of Staten Island
1m17s
Guys, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean... we don't listen to anything you say. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, why do you even try to give us advice? So, what do you want a tattoo of? The Punisher. - The Punisher? - Okay. - That's tough, man. - All right. He could've said anything. He said The Punisher. Oh, yeah, I could do that. Is that it? Yeah, that's him. - Are you sure? - Yes. Do I have your legal permission to do this? - Yes. - That's good enough for me. - How about you guys? - Holds up in court. You guys heard it. All right. Yo, he can't get consent. He's ten. Now, hold still, okay? 'Cause it is permanent. Yo, guys. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. - Put your game face on. - Don't worry, dude. This will just be on you for the rest of your life. There you go. - Look at you, tough guy. - There you go. - I don't want to do it! - Uh... - I don't wanna! - Well, I got to finish it. - Now there's just a line. - Calm down, man. - You're gonna look stupid. Sit back down. Relax. - Calm down. - Sit down. Do it. - Relax. - Whoa! Hey! - Hey! - Hey! - Hey, run! Run, kid! - Hey! Run, little man! Run! Run! Goddamn it. I fucking believed in that kid, man. He seemed so tough at first, uh, but then immediately wasn't. That's why I don't fuck with millennials, dude. Again, we are the millennials. He keeps saying that, but I don't know what that means. I regret my friendship with you guys.
The King of Staten Island
51.4s
Oh. Oh. I-I already arranged to, uh, pay directly at the hospital. But if you want a check, just give me two minutes, okay? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm-I'm... I-I want to pay. I'm gonna pay for it. I'm gonna pay for it. No, no, no. I'm gonna pay for it. And I'm, and I'm also gonna talk to Scott because that was totally out of line, totally nuts. Yeah, I-I understand that. But, uh, look, I just wanted to apologize, okay? I-I got a little out of control before, uh... You know, I just, I let my anger get the best of me. Broke my stupid resolution. God knows it's what messed up my marriage, and I-I just really wanted to apologize, okay? I mean, I was upset, but I-I shouldn't have conveyed it that way. There's no need to apologize. My kid's being a fucking lunatic. It's not cool. Oh, I... I overreacted. He's fine. No, it's the tip of the iceberg. Ah, you know, lot of kids do stuff like this. Mm, kids don't do stuff like this. He did the second-worst thing you could do to a kid in the woods.
The King of Staten Island
45s
- Ho! - You gang. Part of the gang. Gang. What's that? Uh, it's a tattoo gun. I was giving the homeys tattoos. I want a tattoo. - You're a tough guy? - Really? - Sure, young guy. You want a tattoo? - Yeah. Dude, kid wants a tattoo. That's my guy right there. Bro, you-you can't give him a tattoo. - He's a little kid. - Yeah, there we go. - You want a tattoo? - Bro, I got to practice on something. - Yeah. - He seems old enough. - You a tough guy? - Yeah. You a badass. Come on, show those muscles, kid. - Come on. Both arms, both arms. - Yeah, there you go. - Put 'em up. - You got tickets to the gun show? - There it is. There it is. - All right. - There we go. - What's your name? - Harold. I'm-a call you Harry. Don't. It's Harold. - Oh. - Okay. - Hell yeah. - I like this kid. I need him in my life. He has structure.
The King of Staten Island