Found 285 results
1m45s
Well, I know you're into art, so I thought you could expand your horizons while I'm gone. You got a gift receipt for this? - You okay? - Fine... Yeah. Wh-What do you mean? Yeah, I'm... You gonna be okay without me here? What, you don't think I can survive here without you? Okay, just don't be a dick, okay? Like, be nice to Mom, okay? Don't give her a hard time. - She deserves a break. - I always give her a-a break. What are you... When's... When am I gonna get my break? Like... What are you talking about? All anyone ever does is worry about you. I was ignored my entire childhood 'cause of you. Oh, yeah, I forgot that my childhood was so dandy. Okay, you don't get to act crazy your whole life just 'cause Dad died, okay? At least you got to know him. Well, you're lucky you didn't get to know him, okay? 'Cause that's why you're almost normal. If you got to know him, you would've known that he was, like, the fucking coolest guy ever, and that would've ruined the rest of your life. Okay, like, but what are you gonna do? Are you gonna get a job or are you gonna leave the house? I don't know. I-I'm gonna open that tattoo restaurant. No, like, for real. I am being real. It's a great... It's never been done before. I looked it up. I googled it. It's never been done, not even as a joke. Because no one wants to go to a restaurant and watch people get tattooed while they eat. - It's gross. - It's the best idea ever. Ruby Tattoosdays, where everyone's welcome. - Chicken and tattoos. - That's not a business! You know, you got to get your shit together. Time is passing by very quickly. That's why I smoke weed all the time, okay? It slows it all down. Fucking God. See, I'm worried about you. Well, why now? You never gave a shit. You, like, literally never cared until this second. Like, wh-what, what gives? You never looked out for me once. You're my older brother. You're supposed to look out for me. You're-you're just guilty 'cause you're leaving? Now, all of a sudden, you're afraid I'm gonna die? I was gonna die anyway, whether you stay or not. - Are you gonna hurt yourself? - Probably. Yeah, I'm probably gonna hurt myself. I don't know how, but yeah.
The King of Staten Island
19.5s
No, seriously, you look great. - Really? - Yeah. I just don't, like... I mean, are you flirting with me or...? - Yeah. - Yeah? Yeah, a lot. This is, this is what it looks like. It is really subtle. I couldn't... I can't tell what's going on. This is how it looks. I'm very subtle. All right. - I'm rusty. You're subtle. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah. - Nice to meet you.
The King of Staten Island
1m24s
- Hey. - Hey. Uh, would you guys like, uh, still or sparkling water? Um, you pick. Uh, I'm more of a sparkling guy, - so sparkling. - Sparkling it is. But I do like tequila, so if I could get just a Patrón, you know, with a rock. - That cool with you? - That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. - Yeah? Cool. Yeah, I prefer a tequila. - Cool. Tequila and rock. You guys want, like, warm bread or... uh, olive oil? Warm bread. Oh. Bro, did you scare off another customer? What's wrong with you? I'm so sorry about that. He has, like, nepotism, you know? Is that a disease? Yeah, it's a bad one. I brought that guy here to make you jealous. You could give a fuck. T-To make me jea... - You don't seem jealous or upset at all. - I do care. Of course I care. I chose the hottest guy on Tinder. Look at me. Look at me. Look at my tits. There is literally the Eiffel Tower... it's holding them up in here. You look great. I'm... Thank you. Please don't cry here. Please. You look awful. What? What do you mean? What are you... Your skin looks see-through and the circles around your eyes are so dark you look like an anorexic panda. I... Well, I-I know. - I know I do. - I don't know. You always look sick and pale like you have a disease but you don't know it yet, but you literally look like if I touched you, you'd just turn to dust. I'm sorry. I-I'm not doing very well. I-I'm not, you know... I... Well, what do I tell your date? I don't know. Tell him to fuck off. I met him ten minutes ago. He's a DJ.
The King of Staten Island
52.6s
Well, actually, I'm going up to Boston to meet his parents at Thanksgiving. - Oh. - What? You're going to Boston to... for Thanksgiving? To wha... Well, where-where am I gonna go? - Ah, you'll come. You can come. - Yeah, me, too. - We can all go. - Yeah, we'd love to have you up there. - Oh. You think you're gonna get married again? Oh, boy, look what I got us into. Claire. Well, you know what? I'll... I'll, uh, I'll answer that, you know? A couple of months ago, I would've said no, but... Uh, can we go? Scott. Don't be rude. Me? I'm not being rude. He's talking the entire time. Wha... He's the one being rude. Was just making conversation. Okay, so what did you want to say? - Cut this shit. - Tell us now. - All I wanted to say was I think it's time to go, okay? I had a great time. This is wonderful. I think we all bonded. It's time to leave now, all right? Well, we're going to a party later, if you want to come with us. You just can't embarrass me. Sure, whatever. Let's just get the fuck out of here.
The King of Staten Island
2m12s
Why do you not think ice is a good superpower? It's amazing. I mean... Ice Flash can do anything with his ice. And it's indestructible 'cause it's superhero ice. He can make giant shields that reflect anything. He can make giant ice tanks, giant ice planes and giant jets, helicopters that shoot giant missiles. I mean, think of all the possibilities. That's actually kind of cool. - Thanks. - You came up with that? Yeah. You're getting, like, really good at this. Thanks. What color is his shield? It's, well, the color of ice. Well, what's the color of ice? Is it, like, see-through? Like, light blue ice or is it like...? It's blue ice 'cause it's... - it's, like, superhero ice, and it's cool. - Right. You remember that kid Ronnie? His uncle owns the pharmacy. He gave me the key. We're gonna load up on oxys. So, we're robbers now. That's our future. Nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. We're gonna do this one time. Get the money to seed our dreams. Get that venture capital. Open that tattoo restaurant you wanted. It's not that big a deal. Jay-Z did it. He sold crack to fund his rap career. Aren't most of Jay-Z's friends, like, dead or in jail? Yeah, but we're Jay-Z in this situation. We're not Jay-Z's friends. We can't all be Jay-Z. There can't be four Jay-Zs. That doesn't make any sense. You guys know I'd do anything for you, right? Thank you. - Appreciate you. - Just not this. I'm out. What are you talking about? - What? - This is crazy. Hey, we need you, all right? You're the lookout. Literally anybody can be the lookout. - I don't need to be a part of this. - No, no, no, no, no, no. We need you. You're our best friend. - We trust you. - Wha... Well, best friends don't make other best friends do stupid illegal shit. You make me do stupid shit for you all the time. - Like what? - Uh, I don't know. What about the time when you thought - you had testicular cancer? - Here we go. - Knew this was gonna come up. - All right? And then I drive over and you make me touch your nuts. I would've done it for you, bro. You're like, "Hey, yo, there's something wrong with my ass." - I'd be like, "Yo, bend over." - Come on. After everything we've done for you? What do you do for me? I let you tattoo my whole body. So what? You love my tattoos. You use me as a human sketchbook. I-I-I-I don't, really. I don't. Not as much as I say I do. I'm out of here. My bad.
The King of Staten Island
2m16s
- Igor. - Mm-hmm. Go get that shit, bro. What are you doing? Yo, he is the worst assistant. He's clearly going through a lot. How much for, like, six Xanax? Six. What do we have? What do we have? - Who needs six Xanax? - I got one, two... I got three right here, I think. One, two... Is this a... Yeah. - How you doing? - I'm all right. Yo, you're Jimmy Bags' brother, right? Yes, bro. Tell your brother he's a bitch. - You understand that? - Yeah. I do. - Say it back to me. - He's a bitch. He's a bitch. And now, you know what? I got four, but you're paying for six. Nah, come on. That's my fucking brother, bro. - Like, what are you... - Nah. Nah, dude. I hate your brother. And now you look like a little version of him, and I want to punch you in the face. So, instead of doing that, just give me 60. I only got 40. Then go home, do chores, and come back. - I don't give a fuck. - I-I can't. I stole it from my mom's purse, but she only had 40. Well, then, give me your shoes. No, bro, I can't. Just give me your shoes and we'll call it a day. - Hey, what size are you? - Like, a nine. Those'll fit you. - Igor, you can have those. - I'll take 'em. Look at that, Igor got a gift. - He's not a fucking nine. - Fuck you! You don't make fun of my friend! He-he can't get on fucking roller coasters, - he's that small. - Shut the fuck up! - Whoa! - We make fun of him! - How is he gonna wear them? - You don't make fun of him! - He's our friend. He rides roller coasters all the time. We make fun of him, not you. He's, like, a size five, bro, like... Yo! Stop! Get the fuck away from my window. You guys are a bunch of fucking pussies. Mom, he's saying he's gonna wear these cargo shorts to the party. Oh, no. What? I told you to wear Dad's suit. I don't want to wear Dad's old suit, okay? - I have my own personal style, and I... - Get the fuck off me! - Don't do that! - I-I don't want to wear a suit, okay? I think, I think I'm gonna throw up. I think I have the flu. Oh, oh, okay. Just-just breathe through your nose. One second. Oh, shut up. Mom, he looks like he fucking sells crack under a bridge. I know the guy who sells crack under the bridge, okay? And he looks awesome. Just put on the suit, Scott, please. No! It's not fair! She thinks she's, like, princess of the world... Okay, well, then just please be respectful for two fucking seconds! ...because she graduated high school. Everybody graduates high school! - Shut up! - Scott! - ♪ Oh, she's a jolly good fellow ♪ - Oh. Mom, please... Just put on the suit. Be respectful. I'll be home in an hour. Fine! Thank you.
The King of Staten Island
39.2s
Oh, but you can't, 'cause he's dead. Anybody got a good response to that? Yeah! Again! Whoo! What a game. What a game. So, what, I shouldn't have kids? No, you... you should have kids. I'm gonna have kids. You know, maybe you should take a cue from your shirt, you know? Smile. Lighten up. That's actually kind of funny. Guy's all right. Why can't you be more like him? He's all right. Why can't you not embarrass me like this? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I embarrassed you in front of your friends.
The King of Staten Island