Will they fight, sir? We shall know soon enough. Soldier, I ordered you to move those catapults forward. - They're out of range. - Range is good. - The danger to the cavalry... - Is acceptable. Agreed?
Gladiator
2.2s
Oh, that's very funny, Murray.
Joker
3s
This building is so awful, isn't it?
Joker
14.2s
So, the other night, I told my youngest son Billy, you know, the new one, the not-so-bright one. I told him, "The garbage strike is still going on, Billy." And he says, and I'm not kidding, Billy says, "So, where are we gonna get all our garbage from?"
Joker
22.1s
♪ That's life ♪ ♪ And as funny as it may seem ♪ ♪ Some people get their kicks ♪ ♪ Stompin' on a dream ♪ ♪ But I don't let it, let it get me down ♪ ♪ 'Cause this fine old world ♪
Joker
1m16s
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to... ♪ Hoyt, please, I love this job. Arthur, I need to know why you brought a gun into a kids' hospital. It's a prop. It's part of my act now. That's bullshit. Bullshit. What kind of clown carries a fucking gun? Besides, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off him last week. Randall told you that? You're a fuck-up, Arthur, and a liar. You're fired!
Joker
43.2s
- Oh, hey. - Hey. Were you following me today? Yeah. I thought that was you. I was hoping you'd come in and rob the place. I have a gun. I could come by tomorrow. You're so funny, Arthur. Yeah. You know, I do stand-up comedy. You should maybe come see a show sometime. I could do that. Yeah? Yeah. You'll let me know when? Yeah.
Joker
16.2s
It's something I'll address once I have tenure, but for now... She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis, I think I might be in danger of failing your 'Intro to Western Civ, ' and I just want you to know I'm willing to do anything to pass." And I said, "Anything?" And she said...
Joker
7.7s
It's Monday and Wednesday, three to five. She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis." I can't use my real last name at this college 'cause they don't hire Jews.
Joker
7.7s
I know. I know. Why is she a senior in the intro? I didn't buy it either. So, she comes to me during my office hours.
Joker
4.5s
So, I'll tell you how I operate. I'm a professor at a prestigious New England university...
Joker
3.2s
Jefferson Street. Next stop, Ninth Ave.
Joker
4s
...and my wife is a senior in my "Intro To Western Civ."