Found 309 results

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1.2s
Arthur!

Joker

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3s
Shit. Shit.

Joker

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Yeah. What's with the makeup then?

Joker

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Signs down.

Joker

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I'm gonna get a coffee.

Joker

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Oh, that's very funny, Murray.

Joker

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Thank you, Murray.

Joker

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34.9s
Okay, hold on. Hold on. There's nothing funny about that. I lived with my mother before I made it. Just me and her. I'm that kid whose father went out for a pack of cigarettes, and he never came back. Aww. I know what that's like, Murray. I've been the man of the house for as long as I can remember. I take good care of my mother. All that sacrifice, she must love you very much. She does. She always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She says I was put here to spread joy and laughter. Aww.

Joker

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11.6s
Happy, what was that? Are you okay? Mom, what? That noise! Did you hear that noise? I'm watching an old war movie! Turn it down! Um...

Joker

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Here.

Joker

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Are we clear?

Joker

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1m16s
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Wiggle your ears ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to show it ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Stomp your feet ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ Shout "hurray" ♪ ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ ♪ And you really want to... ♪ Hoyt, please, I love this job. Arthur, I need to know why you brought a gun into a kids' hospital. It's a prop. It's part of my act now. That's bullshit. Bullshit. What kind of clown carries a fucking gun? Besides, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off him last week. Randall told you that? You're a fuck-up, Arthur, and a liar. You're fired!

Joker

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16.2s
It's something I'll address once I have tenure, but for now... She says, "Excuse me, Professor Lewis, I think I might be in danger of failing your 'Intro to Western Civ, ' and I just want you to know I'm willing to do anything to pass." And I said, "Anything?" And she said...

Joker

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14.9s
It's nice to see these couples out at my show. I have a wife. We love to role-play. - Ooh! - Yes, yes, very sexy. My favorite one right now is professor and senior who really needs to pass my class to graduate.

Joker

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Don't ignore him. He's being nice to you.

Joker

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Talking to you. Hey. No, thank you.

Joker

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1.5s
They're real good.

Joker

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1.8s
Hello?

Joker