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22.3s

You dipshit! You're expecting to score with some... goody-goody choirgirl priss? These chicks don't know me. I can work the sensitive angle here, fellas! You know, it's just like that college chick told me. All that you gotta do is just ask 'em questions... and listen to what they have to say and shit. I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work!

American Pie

2.4s

Oz, I know.

American Pie

1m24s

# Don't stray # # Don't ever go away # # I should be much too smart for this # # You know it gets the better of me # # Sometimes when you and I collide # - # I fall into an ocean of you # - Oh. My hair. # Pull me out in time # # Don't let me drown # # Let me down # You okay? Yeah. Go slow. # Say you'll stay # # Don't come and go # # Like you do # # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # Say you'll stay ## So the end of the story is you... had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds. Yes! And he was such a dork. Everyone laughed at me... - but I didn't care because it was so funny. - I get it. And this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. Excuse me? What? You don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... Sex Ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy.

American Pie

11.2s

- Hey, Oz! - Ozmeister! - Oh, great. - What about the game? - I'm not playing. - You're missing the game for us? No, I'm missing the game for you.

American Pie

12.2s

God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. Yup. And you got a keg too! - Wow! - Indeed.

American Pie

11s

This is, like, the coolest thing I've ever seen. I know. Can you believe... This is definitely one of Stifler's best ideas ever.

American Pie

10.5s

So, you enjoying yourself? I'm... three sheets to the wind, ma'am. I'm so happy for you. But it takes the edge off, doesn't it?

American Pie

13.5s

Goal, Ostreicher! - All right, Oz! - Atta boy, Ozzie! Whoo! Yeah, baby! - We're crushing you losers! - Let's go, fellas! Come on! Whoo-hoo!

American Pie

12.6s

Hi. - How'd you know I was here? - Stifler told me. - Talked to Stifler? - Well, I needed to find you. We're gonna have to work on that song.

American Pie

48.2s

Ha-ha, nice! - Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! - Ooh, whoo! - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? - M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. - Yeah, dude! Oh-ho, yeah! - Yeah! MILF! MILF! - Hey, guys... Guys. Guys. - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? I got company, if you know what I mean?

American Pie

22.8s

Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.

American Pie

10s

- Why are you doing this? - 'Cause I want to. Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. You better practice.

American Pie

9.7s

# Do do do do do do do # I just gotta say that women, like a fine wine, only get better with age.

American Pie

6.6s

Is she? She's goin' downstairs.

American Pie

14.9s

Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. And you're not gonna do anything about that? What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? - Yeah. - You can do that?

American Pie

13.8s

- But... - See, that's what I've been realizing... is that... nothing's perfect. And you can't plan everything. Well, I guess... you will be pretty far away.

American Pie

12s

Xenophobic. Oh! - Regurgitation. - I know that one.

American Pie

32.8s

Ow! Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. What makes you think that I would come early? Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Yes, I am. So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca."

American Pie

Found 222 results

Oz, I know.

- Hey, Oz! - Ozmeister! - Oh, great. - What about the game? - I'm not playing. - You're missing the game for us? No, I'm missing the game for you.

God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. Yup. And you got a keg too! - Wow! - Indeed.

This is, like, the coolest thing I've ever seen. I know. Can you believe... This is definitely one of Stifler's best ideas ever.

So, you enjoying yourself? I'm... three sheets to the wind, ma'am. I'm so happy for you. But it takes the edge off, doesn't it?

Goal, Ostreicher! - All right, Oz! - Atta boy, Ozzie! Whoo! Yeah, baby! - We're crushing you losers! - Let's go, fellas! Come on! Whoo-hoo!

Hi. - How'd you know I was here? - Stifler told me. - Talked to Stifler? - Well, I needed to find you. We're gonna have to work on that song.

Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.

- Why are you doing this? - 'Cause I want to. Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. You better practice.

# Do do do do do do do # I just gotta say that women, like a fine wine, only get better with age.

Is she? She's goin' downstairs.

Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. And you're not gonna do anything about that? What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? - Yeah. - You can do that?

- But... - See, that's what I've been realizing... is that... nothing's perfect. And you can't plan everything. Well, I guess... you will be pretty far away.

Xenophobic. Oh! - Regurgitation. - I know that one.