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DOUG: Oh, my God.

The Hangover

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[YELLING AND WHOOPING]

The Hangover

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I love this fucking town.

The Hangover

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My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.

The Hangover

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[TIGER GROWLS] - Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding. ALAN: See? See? - There's a tiger in there. - No, there isn't. Yeah! - It's big. Gigantic. - You okay, buddy? No. I am in so much pain right now. Goddamn. Look at this place. Whew. I know. Phil, they have my credit card downstairs. I am so screwed. How does a tiger get in the bathroom? It almost killed me. Hey, bro? You mind putting on some pants? I find it a little weird I have to ask twice. ALAN: Pants at a time like this? I don't have any p...

The Hangover

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Did, uh... - Did Caesar live here? - Um, no. I didn't think so.

The Hangover

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[DOORBELL RINGS]

The Hangover

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Just get me home. Mm-hm. Just get me home.

The Hangover

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Stu, how much you got in the bank? About 10 grand. I was gonna use it for the wedding. You're already married, so we're good there. Besides, enough with Melissa, she's the worst. Yeah, Doug told me she had sex with a pilot or something. It was a bartender on a cruise. What is wrong with you people? - Ew. Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza? - Yes.

The Hangover

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- Shit. DOUG: Heh, heh, heh. - Nice car. DOUG: Yeah. - I'm driving. DOUG: Whoa, no chance, buddy... Don't step... God. Watch the leath... Shut up and drive before these nerds ask me another question. - Animal. - Who's this? - It's Alan. Tracy's brother. - I met you, like, four times. Oh, yeah. How you doing, man?

The Hangover

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We look at these pictures together, okay? One time. - And then we delete the evidence. - I say we delete it right now. Are you nuts? I wanna find out how I wound up in the hospital. - Yeah, it's in there. - Guys, one time. - Deal? - Deal. - Deal. - Okay. Oh, dear Lord! ALAN: That's classic!

The Hangover

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- He's okay. PHIL: Oh, good. JADE: He was just hungry, he's fine. - Oh, good. About last night, uh, ahem, do you remember the last time you saw Doug? - Uh, I haven't seen him since the wedding. - The wedding. Okay. Great. And, uh, we can't re... What time was that at? Well, it was, um...

The Hangover

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- You all right? - Yeah. - Look at the view up here. - You happy? - This is great. - Whoa! [PHIL CHUCKLES] Are you kidding? PHIL: Alan, how we doing, buddy? - Good. DOUG: What do you got over there, Alan? STU: That's the Eiffel Tower.

The Hangover

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[JADE LAUGHING] [SHRIEKING]

The Hangover

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Whose fucking baby is that? Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite? Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here. Check its collar or something. Shh. Shh. - It's okay, baby. - Stu, we don't have time for this. Let's go hook up with Doug, we'll deal with the baby later. Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room. - There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom. - It's not our baby. Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one. All right, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us. Could you at least just find some pants?

The Hangover

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It's got, uh, Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. And that Jewish actor. Shut up, Alan. - What room was it again? - It's 825. WOMAN: I know, I did. I already checked with her. I found him, I'll call you back. Thank God, he's with his father. I was freaking out. I missed you, sweetie. And I miss you. [JADE MOANING]

The Hangover

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Okay. Well, listen, I gotta go, because we're gonna hit this wine tasting. Wait, wait. I love you. Okay. Bye.

The Hangover

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PHIL: Alan. Bud, are you okay? STU: Oh, my God. - Shit! Fuck, where'd he get him? Hey.

The Hangover