Found 147 results
2m19s
Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort... which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle... guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep... in the highest room of the tallest tower... for her true love and true love's first kiss. [Laughing] Like that's ever gonna happen. - [Paper Rustling, Toilet Flushes] - What a load of-- Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I am not the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an L on her forehead The years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do So much to see So what's wrong with taking the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored - Hey, now, you're an all-star - [Shouting] Get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mould [Belches]
Shrek
54.9s
[Growls] No. Oh, no. No! [Screams] - Oh, what large teeth you have. - [Growls] I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're-- You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ooh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but, you know, I'm, uh-- [Coughs] I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings. Shrek! [Gasps] [Whimpering] No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
Shrek
2m1s
[Donkey] Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon... and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp... which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. - Is that about right? - Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village... and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? Uh, no, not really, no. For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. - Example? - Example? - Okay, um, ogres are like onions. - [Sniffs] They stink? - Yes-- No! - They make you cry? - No! You leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hairs. No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. [Sighs] Oh, you both have layers. Oh. [Sniffs] You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, Let's get some parfait, they say, No, I don't like no parfait? - Parfaits are delicious. - No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. See ya later. Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start slobbering.
Shrek
55.2s
Uh-- - Really tall? - No! I'm an ogre. You know. Grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. - Really? - Really, really. - Oh. - Man, I like you. What's your name? Uh, Shrek. Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody- thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
Shrek
32.9s
Arrgh! I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! - You'll beg for death to save you! - No! Shrek! - And as for you, my wife, - Fiona! I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! - I am king! - [Whistles] I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have-- Aaah! - Aah! - All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. - [Dragon Roars] - I'm a donkey on the edge!
Shrek
44.1s
Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really something back there. Incredible! Are you talking to-- me? Whoa! Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you was great back there? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. - Oh, that's great. Really. - Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.
Shrek
2m12s
My beloved monster and me We go everywhere together Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves - Gets us through all kinds of weather - Aah! She will always be the only thing That comes between me and the awful sting That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean [Croaks] Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Hey! - La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la - [Both Laughing] La-la, la-la, la-la There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you. - That's DuLoc? - Yeah, I know. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really-- Ow! Um, I, uh-- - I guess we better move on. - Sure. But, Shrek? - I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey. - [Blubbering] - What? - I mean, look at him. - He doesn't look so good. - What are you talking about? I'm fine. That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. - Dead. - You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down? - I'll make you some tea. - I didn't want to say nothing, but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. - [Bones Crunch] - Ow! See? -Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. Hey, where you going? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug.
Shrek