Hey, guys. I don't mean to pry or anything, but are you guys, like, secret billionaires or something? -Why do you ask? -'Cause this place looks very expensive. Oh, super expensive. We spent, like, every penny we had on this place. Yeah. Wait. Why would you do that? [man] My buddy Charlie came here way back when and raved about it. If we're gonna go on vacation, might as well go all out, right? And just go broke? Oh, we'll make more money. I work in a doctor's office. Ron here is a park ranger. And not to brag, we're pretty good. Kyla and I always say if we find ourselves with too much money, we haven't been spending it fast enough. That-- That's one way to live. You know, they say money buys you freedom, but how can you really be free if you're thinking about making money all the time? Well, I guess it's your welfare checks I've been paying. [chuckles] Possibly. Possibly, Marcus. -[chuckling] Anyway, to the happy couple. -[Kyla] To the happy, gorgeous couple! -All right. -[Kyla] Yeah, you're engaged! [giggles]
Vacation Friends
24.9s
Seriously? You-- You will never marry my daughter. What have you done to her? -He didn't do anything to me, Dad. -[Gabe] Enough! Move. Sis, you're not thinking straight, okay? Look, it's obvious to everyone besides you that you're marrying some loser who's only bringing you down. Yo, who you talkin' about? I am talking about you. You're utterly beneath her. You have trash friends, a trash job. And you wanna know why? Because you are-- -What? -[screams]
Vacation Friends
5.7s
[all screaming] [screaming]
Vacation Friends
2s
[rescue technician speaking Spanish]
Vacation Friends
43.7s
Yes! [chuckles] -Oh, yes! -Oh, my God. -Yes! Yeah! Fucking A, Maurillio. Yes! -Yes! -[man] You had me! You were likeā¦ -[woman] That was beautiful! "The only thing I didn't need to think about was you." You guys! It was you. It was-- Baby, I love you! I love you so much. Baby, I love you so much. I love you. And you know what, I don't care that we lost the room. I know. I know how hard you worked. I don't care. We can camp out on the beach. I just wanna be your woman! No! No! Nobody's camping on the beach. -You get that out of your head right now. -I love you guys. -Like, you have to stay with us. -With us. Consider it, like, our engagement present to your beautiful souls. Yes. -Nah. Yeah. Yeah. We're okay. -Nah, we good. Yeah. We're fine. You're gonna say no to the Presidential Suite? It has a Jacuzzi and everything.
Vacation Friends
2.4s
-Baby, will you marry me? -[gasps]
Vacation Friends
5.8s
Maurillio. You do know how important this trip is to us, man. Yes, of course. We want your proposal to be perfect.
Vacation Friends
39.2s
Look around. Nobody cares. And you guys were so cute and peaceful this morning. We didn't wanna wake you up. Hair of the dog? Oh, I can't even look at another drink. Sit. Come on. We got shrimp nachos coming. Leave the heads on down here. -Oh, God. -Come on. Sit, please. [Marcus] Okay, you know something? -We gonna just head to the gate. -We gonna go. Yeah. -No! Whoa, whoa. -No, no, no. Whoa, whoa. Guys. We gotta do this again. The four of us are too good together not to! Yes! Oh, my God. You guys should come out for the Oregon State Fair next month! Yeah! It's in Oregon. We go every year. Last year, we took a double dose of DMT. Yeah, don't worry. It's all natural. It's just the chemical your brain releases when you die. -[Marcus] Oh, yeah. -Okay. Sounds fun. Great. Give us your number.
Vacation Friends
2.1s
-[shaman chanting] -[sighs]
Vacation Friends
1.9s
[shaman chanting]
Vacation Friends
1.4s
What? God.
Vacation Friends
23s
Oh, wait-- Baby, you go-- You got my phone? [Marcus] 'Cause I didn't-- Your phone broke. -Her phone broke and then my-- -Oh, my God. I had a phone, but we'll take your information. How about that? -Oh, my God. Yes! Yes. -Yeah! Of course. -Baby. Give them your card. -I got one. He has very fancy business cards. -[Ron] Yeah. There you go! -[Emily] Wow. So, when you call that, that's gonna ring in the ranger's station. Then somebody comes to get me outta the cave. Oh, before I forget, let me give your sunglasses back. No, man. Keep 'em.
Vacation Friends
4.4s
-[Bennett] You see it? -[Gabe] No. -Do you see-- No. No, no. -[cart approaching] It's not on the green.
Vacation Friends
31.9s
I cannot apologize enough. It seems the guests in the Presidential Suite above your room overfilled the Jacuzzi. So, that means you're gonna put us in another room, right? Oh, yes, yes, of course. If there was room available, it would be yours. Sadly, the hotel is fully booked. Why would you say "of course" if you knew you didn't have another room? You know how misleading that is? Can you just check with any of the other hotels nearby? Of course. We have relationships with all of the five-star hotels. No problem. Just a second. Hmm. Well, let me go ahead and also check for four-star hotels.
Vacation Friends
13.9s
-You drugged us? -[Ron, Kyla] Yeah. I thought I made it really clear when I said to her-- I was like, you know, -"It'll get the job done." -"It gets the job done." Get the job done? That's not clear. That's very vague, okay? What is wrong with you? Why would you put cocaine in margaritas?
Vacation Friends
29.1s
-[slurping] -Oh, that is good. Ron makes the best margaritas, and let me just tell you, girl. -Babe. -It gets the job done. [Ron] Indeed. So, Ron. What park do you work at? Oh. Oregon National Cave Monument. It's in Oregon. Whoa. You work in caves? I'm like Batman. If Batman's job was to keep kids from jacking off stalagmites. [Kyla] Totally. What about you guys? Uh, we're from Chicago, actually. I work in finance and Marcus owns his own construction company. Quick question. Um, why does the salt not taste salty? -Oh, because it's cocaine. -What?
Vacation Friends
12.9s
Oh, my God, baby. Baby, I'm so glad you're okay. Look-- Look, y'all. I'm so-- I'm-- I'm so sorry, okay? I don't-- I don't know what happened. I'm usually the careful guy. -I don't-- I don't even know what to say. -I do.