I forgot Uncle Ramon was deaf and I talked to him like a normal.
Dirty Grandpa
12.8s
Back in the '80s, when Andre the Giant used to go to the Playboy Mansion, he'd stack five playmates on top of each other on a bed and fingerfuck them all. Five at a time. Because his hands were so big.
Dirty Grandpa
19.6s
I'm really sorry, but I can't marry her. You think that message should come from me? Okay... Uncle Ramon, can you tell Meredith that Jason's sorry, but that they can't get married? Oh, fuck!
Dirty Grandpa
21.8s
"This day I call the heavens and the earth as a witness against you..." "...that I have set before you life and death..." Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear to the rehearsal brunch Sunday. Do you like the coral color or the salmon? "...that the race is not to the swift..." Either one. "...nor the battle to the strong."
Dirty Grandpa
3.2s
Uh...
Dirty Grandpa
22.3s
- I don't sound like that. - Yeah? - What do you sound like then? - Not like that. I don't even sound like that. - Give me my phone call. - Oh, please, let me have my phone call. I'm an American and I'm fucking guaranteed... I am an American... I am guaranteed a phone call. My right to have a phone call!
Dirty Grandpa
25.6s
Hey! Here they are! How was the protest? - Uh, it was good. - Yeah, it was good. This is Lamar, Lil' Chris, Big Chris, Murray Finkelstein. And, of course, you've already met Ty-rizone. That nigga's crazy, man. Yeah, what's with the N-word, anyway? I can say it. I can't say it... You can say it when we let you say it. Which is never. Just never say that under any circumstances.
Dirty Grandpa
2s
I'm not hugging you.
Dirty Grandpa
7.1s
- Well, what do you like? - I mean... I like the coral. That's what I was going to say, too. - Okay, cool. Okay. - Okay.
Dirty Grandpa
12.3s
Hi. How are you? Good. Here you go, you can keep the change. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not... You... - Uh-huh. - Okay.
Dirty Grandpa
1.6s
Poor Grandpa...
Dirty Grandpa
1.8s
Coral it is!
Dirty Grandpa
10.8s
Cropdusted, motherfucker! - You just got cropdusted! - Hey! - You're high now! - Get the fuck away from me! Now we're both high at Grandma's funeral! We're bonded for life. Uncle Dan, sorry, man. Tough day!
Dirty Grandpa
6.6s
- It was fun. It was fun. - Yeah. Excuse me, gentlemen. I'll be right back. So funny. "Injunctive relief." That tickled my funny bone.
Dirty Grandpa
34.3s
Okay. I don't think you're very popular here, Grandpa. You're the one that's going to have to watch out. - You might get Oreo'd. - Oreo'd? That's when two black guys fuck a white guy. You're the cream in the middle.
Dirty Grandpa
35.3s
Got it. - You guys want a refill? - Sure. - Absolutely! - BRB! I'm sorry about my grandpa. He's, um... He's not doing too well. My grandma just passed and the funeral was yesterday. Oh... I'm actually a lawyer, not a retard. I handle of lot of important issues. SEC compliance, LLC agreements. LP agreements. That sort of stuff. Yeah, um, well, I think we're gonna get going. - Nice to meet you, Pepe. - Nice...