Found 695 results

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Are you serious?

The Dictator

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Trying to force it on the Israeli delegation.

The Dictator

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Drinking from the pitcher of water directly, as opposed to the glass that I'm sure must be up there. What do you think that means? Again, it's another attempt to say, "Listen, I'm not going to play by your rules." And he seems to have a pitcher of urine out.

The Dictator

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My speech.

The Dictator

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All right.

The Dictator

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Admiral General Aladeen preparing to address the General Assembly of the United Nations. An historic moment. He's approaching the podium.

The Dictator

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It looks to be his own urine.

The Dictator

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I do not have any money on me, but if you give me your clothes I'll make a sizeable donation in your name to al-Qaeda.

The Dictator

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I'll be back with help! J. K.! Just kidding!

The Dictator

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You know, I don't even think you want to be tortured. I don't want to be tortured. You're just, like, taking all the fun out of it! You just want me to say compliments all the time. So either you want the truth or you want compliments. Decide! It'd be nice if I got just a little bit of positive feedback about my tools. What else you got? I'm gonna love the next thing! I will be supportive.

The Dictator

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No! Get it out of here!

The Dictator

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That's your beard? No, no, no! It's not my beard. My friend chopped the head off Morgan Freeman.

The Dictator

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Hello. I am Admiral General Aladeen. I am here to deliver my speech to the United Nations. Look, Admiral, it's too hot for crazy.

The Dictator

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Just girls.

The Dictator

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And he's walked right past the podium. What is he doing?

The Dictator

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Oh, the Fallujah Firehose! Someone's got a friend in Syria! I am pretty proud of it. There is a new model, you know.

The Dictator

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How dare you? Listen, Tamir is coming right now.

The Dictator

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You need to lose weight immediately!

The Dictator