Googleable! Ned! You helped me cheat on my math test, but I got caught.
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Okay. So, uh... ...it's a classic transformation story.
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Ned?
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- It's a grenade. Ned.
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That is here. When the hero... - I guess that's... I guess, you. - Hm. Uh, is transformed by his spirit guide... ...to set him on a new path.
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...spirit guide transformation magic. That's kind of a biggie, actually.
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Alex! Alex, buddy!
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Right. Forget it.
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That eliminates these and those and most of that side. Are you now or have you ever been... ...a Norse god, vampire, or time-traveling cyborg? I've known you since, what, first grade? I would have told you. Vampire wouldn't tell. Cyborg wouldn't know. Shut up.
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Aah! Oh, sorry. Teenage you. I figured it out. I figured out what I'm supposed to do. I figured out what my spirit guide wants me to do.
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It appears in the literature time and time again. Were you at any point shot by a gamma ray?
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- Which is what? - Do I look like your spirit guide?
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The janitor.
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Hello?
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What's this you're wearing?
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Oh, my G... - Wrong. These are for me. - You kidding? - What's-her-name and Chewie's for me. - Miss Masterson will see you now. Let's go.
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I also invented the software that helps people steal music... ...but that's a happy coincidence.
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And I'm very rich. Okay. - Did you bring your transcripts? - Oh, yeah.