No! No! With the deepest malice, we deliver this virgin unto thee. Dude, that is a hot murder weapon. It's a bowie knife. Bowie? Nice. - Here we go! It's gonna be gnarly! - No, please, please! No, please, God! Wait a second. I just thought of something. Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me. You don't know me, but you make me so happy. I tried to call you before, but I lost my nerve. d I used my imagination d d But I was disturbed d dJenny, I got your number d d I need to make you mine d dJenny, don't change your number d d 867-5309 d d 867-5309 dd They killed you. I'm still here, aren't I? They did go all Benihana on my ass with that knife and it should have killed me, but for some reason it didn't.
Jennifer's Body
39.9s
Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There's so many of us, and we're all so cute... and it's like, ifyou don't get on Letterman... or some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope. We're in league with the beast now, and we have to make a really big impression on him. And to do that, we're going to have to butcher you and bleed you. And then Dirk here's gonna wear your face. Relax. I'm kidding about the face. The rest is gonna happen though. Why don't you just get a publicist? We can make T-shirts. I could be a part ofyour street scene. Please. Sorry. No can do. But you know what? Maybe we'll write a song about you. As a fan, that'd be cool, right?
Jennifer's Body
30.5s
Thank you. - All right. - That's it? Yeah. I found it online. "We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of"� What is your name again? Tiffany? My name is Jennifer. Super. "We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of Jennifer from Devil's Kettle. " Please, please. Please, please, don't do this. I'll do anything. I'll do anything you want.
Jennifer's Body
18.1s
I don't know ifwe should go through with this. Dirk. Do you wanna work at Moose Hoof Coffee forever? I don't, okay? Do you wanna be a big loser, or... do you wanna be rich and awesome... like that guy from Maroon 5?
Jennifer's Body
6.5s
Maroon 5. Okay. That's what I thought. Go and fetch me the ritual, brother.
Jennifer's Body
4.3s
Great. But get it nice and tight, though, 'cause I don't wanna get fuckin' clawed.
Jennifer's Body
3.2s
Okay. What the fuck?
Jennifer's Body
1.7s
Hey.
Jennifer's Body
26.9s
We are gathered here to celebrate the life of Colin Gray, who was plucked from the prime of his youth� Colin! Take me with you! I belong down there... in the darkness! No, Kevin. Those are just his earthly remains. He's among the dark angels ofthe realm now. Fly, Colin. Fly into the firmament.
Jennifer's Body
5.1s
What are you doing? Um, you said to leave. See you at school.
Jennifer's Body
9.6s
I think he may be having second thoughts about you. Leave. Come on, Needy. Let me stay the night. We can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to.
Jennifer's Body
1.5s
Especially Chip.
Jennifer's Body
9.4s
You know, Needy, maybe you should talk to somebody about these... disturbing thoughts that you're having. We're all really concerned.
Jennifer's Body
7.7s
What about my mom's Kia? Why were you covered in blood? You didn't even look human.
Jennifer's Body
4.2s
What do you mean, when you're full?
Jennifer's Body
3.7s
It's, like, some X-Men shit, right?
Jennifer's Body
3.5s
It's really cool. Just watch. Look.
Jennifer's Body
47.8s
Colin wouldn't like this. You think so? Yeah, you're right. I'm pretty sure my son wouldn't have liked being eaten by a fucking cannibal... and buried before his 18th birthday. Wow. You must have known him so well. Jill. By the time they found Colin in that godforsaken house, he looked like lasagna with teeth. I'd know. I had to identify the remains. My boy... is not in the realm ofthe undead. He is not flying around in the firmament... on magical wings of flame. He's in an overpriced rosewood box... that's headed six feet downtown.