- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
3.6s
- I wanna have sex. - Now?
American Pie
11s
And then he just puked his brains out. - That is a nasty story. - Yep, I told you. Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine? It's sort of sexual.
American Pie
20.3s
Strip! - Strip? - Slowly. Uh, you mean, like, strip strip? For me. What is he talkin' to her about? - Uh, no idea. - Come on, Jim. People are viewing. Get to business.
American Pie
2.6s
Hmph.
American Pie
4.7s
Still questing after the Holy Grail, huh, guys?
American Pie
2.4s
This'll do. Whoo-hoo!
American Pie
4.4s
- Mom? Shit-brick? - Hey, Stifler.
American Pie
35.6s
Nice car! - I'm glad you think so. - You don't like it? No, I like the car. By the way, though, about prom? That was a bad idea. I'm sorry I invited you. - What are you talkin' about? - Please. I asked you because I thought you might actually be worth going with. But you are just a jock. No, wait. You're a jerk. Wait! I don't understand. I saw you making fun of me with your lacrosse buddies. Heather, I wasn't makin' fun of you. Gimme a break. You're so full of it.
American Pie
8.2s
- Here we go. - He's in, man. - # Calling # - This just got a hell of a lot better. - Be gentle. - Okay.
American Pie
1m23s
And one time at band camp, we weren't supposed to have pillow fights, but we had a pillow fight, and it was so much fun. A- And this one time, we all lost our music and we were supposed to play this song, but we didn't know it, so we just made it up and we kept playing and playing, and the conductor didn't know what we were doing, and it was so funny. So, you're pissed about somethin', huh. You know what I do when I'm angry? I just play some Bach on my flute. It's so relaxing. - I learned to do that at band camp. - Hold on, uh... You have no idea why I'm angry? Is it because we have a test tomorrow? Sometimes I get cranky... - when I know I have a big test to study for. - Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much it. - I thought so... - because this one time at band camp... - W-What's your name? - Michelle. - O-Okay. Michelle, um... Do you want to be my date for the prom? Really? You seriously want to go with me? Yes. Seriously. Are we going to Steve Stifler's party afterwards? Because that would be so cool. - Sure, whatever you want. - Cool! We're gonna have such a good time. It'll be like this one time at band camp when we all had a campfire...
American Pie
48.9s
I don't think he's comin' back. # Close my eyes at night # - # Close my eyes # - # Wonderin' where would I be without you in my life # - # Oh # - # Everything I did was just a bore # - # Just a bore # - # Everywhere I went seems I been there before # # But you brighten up for me all of my days # - # With a love so sweet # - # In so many ways # # I just wanna stop # - # And thank you, baby # - # I just wanna stop # - # And thank you, baby # - # Thank you, baby # # How sweet it is to be loved by you ## Yeah, Oz! You fuckin' rule! - Fuckin' rule! - Yeah!
American Pie
33s
# Don't make me # - # Over # - Vicky. Your parents are downstairs. - Kevin, don't stop! - Just a second. # I'm rockin' steady # # In demonology # # Hey so that you could make it # - # You're really makin' it ## - Hon, can you tell Vic to come on down for supper? - Holy shit! - Shh. You know there's no lock on your door?
American Pie
18.9s
Y- You know what the coolest thing is, guys? This. You know, right now. It's true. I mean, after this, everything's gonna be different. After... getting laid? - After high school. - Here's to the next step. - To the next step. - To the next step. - To the next step.
American Pie
9.8s
I want you to be very, very careful... when you're putting on... the corsage.
American Pie
6.4s
# I close my eyes at night # Come on, Heather. Work with me here.