Found 1530 results
31.8s
Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! Guys. She said it. - Said what? - She said she loves me. - Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? - Oh, man! Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. - Beautiful country. - Whatever. It's doable. Wh-What we should do today, in band. Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. - That'll be so funny! - Yeah.
American Pie
1m9s
Ohh, you're so good. Ohh, yes. I am the best, baby. - Oh, yeah! - Oh. Oh, that was a tit. That is a tit! Yes! Oh, you're so big! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. - Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. - Yes! Oh, yeah! I'm bone smugglin', baby. Man, would you shut up! Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. Kiss good night. - Something wrong with the reception? - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - There's... There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. - Take it off. - And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... - Do me! Yes! Baby! Ride me like a pony! - The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. - Getting ready for bed, son? - Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. - Yeah? - No! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. - Illegal... Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. - Oh, spank my hairy ass! - What's that? - Ooh, baby! - You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's the matter with this thing? Yes! Yes!
American Pie
22.8s
No offense, but you're talking about a post-high school, long-distance relationship. And you and Kevin haven't even done it yet. That's not why we're going out. What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. It's got to be completely perfect. I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
American Pie
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
1m29s
Hey, what are you doin' here? Just enjoying my first exhilarating lacrosse experience. - You kicked butt. - Oh, thanks. - Um, Chris... - Oh, you can call me Oz, if you want. - Do I have to? - You can call me Ostreicher. - What's your middle name? - Nah, forget it. - Come on. I won't tell anyone. - Well, neither will I. Okay. Um. So, I had this thought and... It may seem like it's way out of left field. I don't know if you can, but since I'm not going with anybody, I thought that maybe... Those guys sucked ass! Choir chick, what the hell are you doing here? Well, uh, I was asking Chris to prom. So, do you want to go? Oh, yeah! That would be great. Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo! Stifler, fuck! I mean... Why do you got to be so insensitive all the time? What? Whatever. Look, uh, don't forget. My cottage after prom. On Lake Michigan. Hey, wait up, you pussies. Where you goin'? Ah, well, I gotta... I gotta hit the showers now, but I think this is gonna be really, really good. - Yeah. Me too. - All right. - Bye. - Bye. Bye.
American Pie
27.8s
Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. That reminds me of this one time... Hey, can I ask you a question? How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them, and you don't have any. Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just, uh... They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! Okay. You want a story? Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer...
American Pie
31.6s
Excuse me. Uh, that's Paul Finch, right? - Yeah. - Well, you've seen him in the locker room, right? - Uh, yeah. - So, my friends, they want to know. Is it true? You know, that he's... equipped. I have no idea. Finch showers with his bathing suit on. I mean, uh... As a matter of fact, it is true. The guy's huge! - Does he have a date for the prom yet? - No, definitely not. All right. Thanks.
American Pie
33.4s
You want a beer? - Oh, there we go. - Come on, move! Steve! It's my computer! And I wanna use it! Shut up! Oh, you need to... You need to change, right? - Uhh, do you mind? - No. N-No, not at all. Uh, please, you know. Just go ahead and get un... get changed. I'll, uh... I'll go downstairs and start studying up. - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh... - All right, there he goes. Now, we're in business. Now, we're in business.
American Pie