Oh, my God, Greg. I know. Admission rescinded, due to significant change in my academic record. Oh, well, no college next year. I guess I'll just be home, which sucks for you... ...because it's gonna be so hard for you to go through all my stuff. Can you just do me a favor right now, Mom? Just leave me alone. Okay? Just let me sit here and regret stuff. I'm just gonna think about all the things that I've ever done... ...and all the things I haven't done and just regret the living shit out of it. Okay?
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
23.2s
Listen, even if you think people won't like you... ...which is literally an insane thing to think... ...you're way less exposed to people in college. High school is 40 hours of class a week. College is, like, 15 and 20. And if you don't want to live with other people, then go to Pittsburgh State. Live at home. It's better than sitting college out because you irrationally hate yourself.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
21.8s
Spiders the size of your fist. Their fangs glistening with venom and... ...their thousand-fold black eyes shining dully in the gloom. In the darkness, you would hear the sudden anguished hiss... ...of a spider being struck by an adult leopard wasp... ...and in their mortal struggle, they would plummet to one's bed... ...biting and stinging and thrashing...
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
14.8s
Yeah, dude came running up, showed you his butt. You were calm. Said, "Justin, only perverts show their butts." (SLURPS) I was right there. RACHEL: I can't believe you remember that. You a hero. Shut his perverted ass right down. I never forget it. (LAUGHS)
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.7s
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
20.8s
The head nods of Jock Nation. The fist bumps of the Kingdom of Stoners. The innocuous witticisms of The People's Republic of Theater Dorks. Greg, how was your summer? Summer. What does that word even mean? Like, more "summ"? (LAUGHING) GREG: In a typical high school life, you belong to one nation... ...which can never guarantee you total security.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
3.5s
Sorry, next time I'll bring you some flowers.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
5.9s
He knew every single European pop song from the 1970s. Every single one.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
38.4s
GIRL: Your test was today? GREG: Ugh. Tests! I've been there. That's like sending troops to Afghanistan. Maintain relationships with citizens of the most dicked-upon nations. For example, Scott Mayhew, the gothy dork I'm sitting next to here. Scott, nice Berserker. Thank you? It took years of cultivation to win his trust. (SINGING) Yo, my name is Ill Phil I'll bend you to my will GREG: Or the universally ostracized Ill Phil. Yeah, that's good. Force you to eat that pill Now you're like, "What's the deal?" Truly a nation of one. I just got killed (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) GREG: And there were some places I simply couldn't go. Like the cafeteria.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
3.6s
Every last square inch of it was disputed territory.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.2s
Um...
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
2s
I guess he probably did.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
4.6s
By senior year, I had mastered the languages and customs of its various sovereign states.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
2.2s
Have you seen me in a tux?
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
3.2s
GREG: Rachel. Greg, what are you doing here?
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
9.6s
Get passports to everywhere. Just be on low-key good terms with everyone... ...casually interact with them once in a while... ...in a way that is invisible to everyone else.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
3.2s
Get citizenship in every nation.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
4.7s
Just... Just do something nice for me for once and just get out.