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4.5s

- Off we go. - Where are we going? I'm not going anywhere with you.

The Ugly Truth

6.1s

Make sure you put the hot dog in your mouth nice and slowly.

The Ugly Truth

3.3s

...every hour, on the hour.

The Ugly Truth

15.1s

- Well, you totally hosed me. - What? Last week on your show, you said, "Always be mean to hot girls... ...because they'll want you more." Well, I tried it on Shauna. She cried, and then I got detention. First of all, don't listen to what I say on my show.

The Ugly Truth

17.9s

- Stand by to go to three. - Yeah, so some... Cacciatore gets mushrooms, garlic. Exactly. - Yeah. Put the mushrooms in. - All right. And whatever amount of garlic you want. - Really? - You can't have enough garlic. - Oh, you can. - I certainly can. - Do it every night. - I got a nice, big spoon for you. - Oh, excellent. Thank you. - Here you go.

The Ugly Truth

5.9s

So you just moved in. That's great. I'm Abby, by the way. Your neighbor from across the way.

The Ugly Truth

9.4s

They're so... So... You tell them, Mike. You should tell them. Yes, yes. Yes, you tell them.

The Ugly Truth

4.1s

What is this? What is this, baby?

The Ugly Truth

3.6s

Come on. You just like being a big fish in a little pond.

The Ugly Truth

45.7s

So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between. And it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers... ...and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with. That sounded almost enlightened. Because once you do peel back those layers, my friends... ...her lady garden awaits. - And he's back. And I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna fertilize that patch of petunias. Well, thanks, Mike. Coming up after this message, Javier tells us if your petunias... ...are gonna see any rainfall this weekend. I sure hope mine do. I wanna go home, but let's go over the script. Yeah, let's get it done really quickly.

The Ugly Truth

12.8s

And I was thinking we should go out for dinner sometime. There is a new French bistro in town... ...and an art opening that got amazing reviews. So I was thinking we could go on Friday.

The Ugly Truth

7s

How's my face? Is it too shiny? Which side is better? Right, left, full frontal?

The Ugly Truth

3.4s

And if you do salvage the situation, you'll never be more than Abby...

The Ugly Truth

23.7s

... over here, we have something quite different. - This isn't on my list. - Follow me. Is the segment over? Where the hell's he going? - Follow him. Follow him. - Go with him, Remote 1. - Hey. - Babes wrestling in Jell-O. - Oh, Jell-O. That's great. - Hello? Abby? - People calling and freaking out. - Oh, Jesus.

The Ugly Truth

4.9s

I taught you well. Hey, maybe you could even host the show.

The Ugly Truth

11s

And it's a great place to raise a family. Really good school system. The parks are clean and well-maintained and safe. And there's a much lower divorce rate here than there is in New York.

The Ugly Truth

8.3s

So tell me about yourself. Well, what's left to talk about that you don't already know? Good point.

The Ugly Truth

7.8s

And what exactly are we celebrating? Hello? Craig Ferguson? I was just on it. I mean, maybe you saw it?

The Ugly Truth

Found 462 results

- Off we go. - Where are we going? I'm not going anywhere with you.

Make sure you put the hot dog in your mouth nice and slowly.

...every hour, on the hour.

- Well, you totally hosed me. - What? Last week on your show, you said, "Always be mean to hot girls... ...because they'll want you more." Well, I tried it on Shauna. She cried, and then I got detention. First of all, don't listen to what I say on my show.

So you just moved in. That's great. I'm Abby, by the way. Your neighbor from across the way.

They're so... So... You tell them, Mike. You should tell them. Yes, yes. Yes, you tell them.

What is this? What is this, baby?

Come on. You just like being a big fish in a little pond.

And I was thinking we should go out for dinner sometime. There is a new French bistro in town... ...and an art opening that got amazing reviews. So I was thinking we could go on Friday.

How's my face? Is it too shiny? Which side is better? Right, left, full frontal?

And if you do salvage the situation, you'll never be more than Abby...

I taught you well. Hey, maybe you could even host the show.

And it's a great place to raise a family. Really good school system. The parks are clean and well-maintained and safe. And there's a much lower divorce rate here than there is in New York.

So tell me about yourself. Well, what's left to talk about that you don't already know? Good point.

And what exactly are we celebrating? Hello? Craig Ferguson? I was just on it. I mean, maybe you saw it?