Found 735 results
22s
...I'm gonna say, what, three months? - Chadway, that is not my fault. - I know. - I mean, come on. - I know, I know. It's her fault. Why is it my fault? What am I supposed to do? Say no to the money so he can get an erection? She just said "erection" on television. - Other networks do it. - They're talking about erections. They say "erection" on Sesame Street. - I agree. - Thank you.
The Ugly Truth
44.7s
Hold on. Oh, you're a dog. - What? - Well, you must be. Come on, you heard me. I mean, if you were... If you were hot, you would be out breaking some poor schmuck's heart... ... instead of spending all your time fantasizing about Mr. Wonderful. Face it... ... you're ugly. I am not ugly. Well, okay, let me help you out here. You might as well face the fact that you're gonna be alone... ... and stop pining away for some fantasy guy you're never gonna get. - How can you possibly...? - Hey, Lassie. The show's called The Ugly Truth. If you can't face it, don't call. That wraps it up for this evening. I'm Mike Chadway reminding you that the truth is never pretty. How'd the date go?
The Ugly Truth
31.1s
Oh, did I burst your little harlequin romance bubble? What? Come on. The only thing you burst is your credibility. Men are completely capable of experiencing love. Okay, I'll bite. Go on. Who's the guy? - What? - The guy. Mr. Wonderful. The one who's so capable of love. Who is he? What's he like? He's smart, he's handsome but he doesn't know it. He's successful, but in a job that means something. He loves red wine, picnics, classical music. This is a guy in America, right?
The Ugly Truth
45.7s
So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between. And it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers... ...and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with. That sounded almost enlightened. Because once you do peel back those layers, my friends... ...her lady garden awaits. - And he's back. And I'm pretty sure you're gonna wanna fertilize that patch of petunias. Well, thanks, Mike. Coming up after this message, Javier tells us if your petunias... ...are gonna see any rainfall this weekend. I sure hope mine do. I wanna go home, but let's go over the script. Yeah, let's get it done really quickly.
The Ugly Truth
33s
Oh, Lord. So how long should I wait to have sex with him? Well, the more you make him beg for it... ...the more you're gonna keep him on the hook. So do everything else but. But then show him... ...that beneath that control-freak exterior of yours... ...that there's a sexual deviant waiting to be unleashed. No. No, I'm not a sexual deviant. Good point. I'm guessing you've been out of practice for what, a year? No.
The Ugly Truth
23.6s
Wait. We need to make one more stop. - Why? I have tons of stuff. - We have to make your hair longer. Men like something to grab onto other than your ass. My hair is fine. There's nothing wrong. Abby, a ponytail implies that you are either operating heavy machinery... ...or emptying the litter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection. Why is it my responsibility to inspire an erection? Isn't that his job? Shut up.
The Ugly Truth