Found 735 results
19.9s
All right, well, you know... ...I actually took the liberty of printing out some talking points... ...in case this happened. - I take it this has happened before? - No. No. But you have nine out of 10 of the necessary attributes on my checklist. Oh, dear God. Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Let's start with three, okay?
The Ugly Truth
35.3s
Hi. Can I get some water for the table? Yeah, a bottle of flat water, please? - Sure. - Thank you. Just one second. I'm sorry. Did you know they've done studies that show... ...tap water and bottled water are the same thing. They passed a law where restaurants have to filter their tap water... ...so it's filtered water, which is the same as bottled water... ...except you don't have to pay 7 dollars for it. I like the way it tastes better. Can I get a Scotch on the rocks too? - Thank you. - Oh, yeah. I thought... I thought in your profile it said you... You like to drink red wine.
The Ugly Truth
16.5s
Look at this bone structure. This could be the bone structure of your future children. Don't you want them to be symmetrical? You printed his profile? What? Yes. These have not been touched in some time. I have to live vicariously through your life. I really think that this could be our next boyfriend.
The Ugly Truth
58.6s
Billions and billions wasted on psychobabble bullshit. Now, listen up, ladies, because I'm only gonna say this once... ...and it is just three little words: Men are simple. We cannot be trained. All this, "men are from Venus" crap is a waste of your time and money. You wanna be a lonely hag, then that's fine... ... keep reading these stupid books. But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get on it, and get skinny... ... and get some trashy lingerie while you're at it... ...because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight. We fall in love with your tits and your ass... ...and we stick around because of what you're willing to do with them. So you wanna win a man over, you don't need 10 steps... ...you need one, and it's called a blowjob.
The Ugly Truth
31.1s
Oh, did I burst your little harlequin romance bubble? What? Come on. The only thing you burst is your credibility. Men are completely capable of experiencing love. Okay, I'll bite. Go on. Who's the guy? - What? - The guy. Mr. Wonderful. The one who's so capable of love. Who is he? What's he like? He's smart, he's handsome but he doesn't know it. He's successful, but in a job that means something. He loves red wine, picnics, classical music. This is a guy in America, right?
The Ugly Truth
24s
- Face it, you're ugly. - I am not ugly. - Well... - Why are we watching this? Say hello to our new guest commentator. I'm starting him at two segments a week, three minutes a pop. - Are you kidding me? - Who the hell is this guy? - Name's Mike Chadway. - And he's an uber-moron misogynist... ...who represents everything wrong with television and society. I get crap every time I suggest we do something remotely fluffy.
The Ugly Truth
20.1s
Okay? Now, let's take the first caller. How dare you burn those books. They've helped my personal life more than I can say. What's your boyfriend's name, princess? Well, I'm not seeing anyone right now. My point exactly, Shrek. Next caller. You're on the air. So you're saying that men are incapable of love?
The Ugly Truth
19.3s
I am an award-winning news producer. Award-winning producer. I am an award-winning news producer. I am an award-winning news producer. You're an award-winning news producer. - You don't knock? - Well, I did knock. You didn't answer. So essentially, your knock was negated by your complete lack of adherence... ...to the social etiquette that follows a knock.
The Ugly Truth