But you. You, my friend, have balls the size of Volkswagens. - Don't think I haven't noticed. - I only thought of them as blue of late. But you're right. They're quite sizable. But not disproportionately so. I think of them as aesthetically pleasing. Yeah, I think I made my point. Are you kidding me right now? Nobody in Sacramento... ...gives a crap about the extinction rate of the Brazilian slug worm. Knowing which celebutante is in rehab is of vital importance? - Your voice makes my hair... - Okay. He is trying to kill me. - He knows I can't eat crab. - It's Crab Rangoon. - Who doesn't eat Crab Rangoon? - Oh, my God. Does anybody see this? - Is that a hive? - No, looks like syphilis to me. You wouldn't even know what syphilis looks like if it weren't for my story.
The Ugly Truth
29.6s
- That is a problem. - Yeah. Call Matt at Media Lab. He's got some Skycams. - Where are all my weathermen? - Right here. - Hey. - Hello. Thank you all for coming. You guys look great. Thanks for being here. Good. Is there a reason they're all overweight? If they get the forecast wrong... ...research shows people are more willing to forgive a fat guy. I hate to do this. I don't think I can work with her. It's bad enough I have to take her criticism at home. - A man can only endure so much. - Larry, you are not a man... ...you are a newsman.
The Ugly Truth
16.3s
Colin's penis. That's what you wanna talk about right now? Because I thought we should talk about... ...what you're gonna say on the show. Yeah. Okay. So tell me, Mike, how did The Ugly Truth start? Well, Mr. Irish Craig Ferguson...
The Ugly Truth
12.9s
- Morning, Freddy. - Morning, Abby. - You look awfully pretty today. - Oh, is it that bad in there? - Good morning. We got problems. - Morning. There are no problems, Joy, only solutions. The traffic camera is down and we have no B-roll for our traffic segment.
The Ugly Truth
15.8s
Such a generous man. You're telling me you've never slept with them? - Well, no, I didn't say that. - That's my point. Men, or man-whores... ...prefer women in slutty clothes who suck lots of cock. Every man wants that.
The Ugly Truth
11.4s
Newsmen are not defined by the easy times... ...they're defined by the hard times. Can you imagine Ted Koppel or Tom Brokaw... ...working with their wives as co-anchors? No. Because they couldn't handle it.
The Ugly Truth
5.4s
- Did you get him? Is he ours? - I'm working on it. I gotta go.
The Ugly Truth
3.9s
- You invited the Jell-O twins? - Yeah. I thought it was good thinking.
The Ugly Truth
2.9s
I mean, you worked damn hard to get him here.
The Ugly Truth
5.4s
Let me tell you, it comes out so fast, right? Oh, wow, I guess we have to get naked sooner than I thought.
The Ugly Truth
1.7s
It's been more than 30 seconds.
The Ugly Truth
2.5s
Could you excuse me?
The Ugly Truth
17.8s
Think of my son. My son, who had a dream of being a cosmetician. Think about him. Think about Joy. Just do it for me. Today it'll be partly sunny with a cloud cover moving in from my left breast. Low pressure systems are moving up, so expect a cold front.
