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8.9s
It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.1s
We need to talk.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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13.2s
It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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10.3s
- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.2s
Oh, yes.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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11.6s
I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night. It was a really immature stunt. Yeah, I know... but sometimes guys can do some pretty childish things.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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15.2s
- Why do I always fail? - You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't worry about the money. I'll figure something out. More importantly... when the time is right... it'll happen. You'll find the one.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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32.5s
- Are you all right? - Never better, my jasmine flower. That feels so good. Oh, my God.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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7.8s
Take me. I want you now. Now! Shit!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.1s
Thank you, brothers.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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17.7s
Are you insane? You know my midterm and finals ritual. I study till 11:00. Nine solid hours of sleep. Protein shake in the morning. Okay, very cute. And also correct. Which gives us 2 hours and 53 minutes of study time. So, honey, please focus. All righty?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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8s
I need to see the grade transcripts for Van Wilder, please. I don't think so. Student transcripts are confidential. Sorry.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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6.6s
Your father wants to get us a place in Forest Grove as an engagement present. - My parents know about this? - Yeah, I told everyone.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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9.8s
I can't hold on There's no easy way Hey, Van, can I borrow-- My God, what happened to you?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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7.9s
Where are you going? I'm not sure, and for some reason... I feel really good about that.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.6s
I'm old enough to be jealous of that Gwen girl.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Northwestern. I am the shit.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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25.7s
Sounds to me like your rectal itch was getting a late-night booty scratch. First, my bitch turns down my proposal. Then she runs into that loser's arms. Now I don't even know where my bitch is. Wilder's got some big blowout tonight. Maybe your bitch is gonna be there. You do not call her that, gonad! Hey, guys. Just giving you all the 411 . I'm a counselor for the Further Leaders of America's overnighter. The bus doesn't leave for a few hours. Is there anything I can do before I go? Anything at all?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder