Okay, look, that old bag is stronger than she looks. I'm doing a human interest piece on you. I'm flattered. I'd love for your piece to be on me. But sadly I don't do interviews. Never have, never will. I do lunch. My editor did say this would be a challenge. Van, second date with Emily. Blue. Brings out your eyes. Kid's got killer eyes, not unlike yourself. - Has anyone told you that before? - Yes, my boyfriend.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.8s
We are truly up the Ganges River without a bamboo oar. We're still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment. Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down. Don't even sweat it, Taj. I've got a plan.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
17s
- I have a few questions for you. - In time. This is gonna be fun. You know that three-letter word that starts with F? So you're quite the campus man, heading events like the J�ger Olympics. Yes, well, you haven't lived... until you've shot putted blitzed on J�ger. - Heinie? - This was a really bad idea.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.4s
Seven years, and no degree. You should have graduated twice by now. I've done a lot in seven years. If you don't have your doctorate, you haven't done enough. But you have wasted enough of your time and my money. Pack up your panties, son, because we are headin' home.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.8s
- Let's go get fucked up. - Sounds good. Is that all you think about? I admit I applied for this job... because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump... but I do not believe that this dilemma will be solved by partying.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.8s
You Van Wilder? The strip club owner got tired of using his B squad... so he came back for the starting lineup. Topless Tutors was dead.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.6s
Oh, God! Those things could raise the Titanic.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.6s
Are we gonna reschedule or what?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
Who's a big boy?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3.7s
This is the second party of his she's gone to. Sounds serious. Threatened?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.7s
They said I did them a mitzvah. That's Yiddish for "good deed." Write that down. Oh, yeah, she came too.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.9s
Word spread around campus. My calendar was filled with parties to plan. Van Wilder, party liaison, was born.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
5.3s
So much sinew, I need a bigger pencil. 8:30 p.m. Yeah, that's fine.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
54.9s
This is why I don't do interviews. You totally slammed me. You journalists and your irresponsible reporting. I recorded quotes that you got money from the Lambdas to throw them a party. Recorded? What are you, bugged? Do I need to frisk you? Why is my story such a big deal to you? Because I didn't want the students to know I threw the party. They paid me, but that's not the only reason I did it. Lambdas are cool in their own right. People just needed to realize it. I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a benevolent agenda. There's two sides to every story, Gwen. I have a chance to make front page of the graduation issue... which is a huge deal to me. Let me get the other side. There's this function I'm hosting tomorrow night. If you want... you could tag along. - I'll be there. - It's a date. It's an interview. Remember, today's assignment is about shadow. So don't get too hung up on detail. All right, everybody? Oh, Lord!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.4s
I'm in the middle of class. You know, that five-letter word. I thought we could spend some time together... for the story.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
6.9s
Here you have your five categories-- commerce and trade, so forth and so on. What you doing?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.3s
Then it's won. When all you had to do from the start was take a medicated pad... and smother it.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
3.5s
I'm president of both my fraternity and the student government.