It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
We need to talk.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.2s
It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.3s
- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.2s
Oh, yes.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
11.6s
I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night. It was a really immature stunt. Yeah, I know... but sometimes guys can do some pretty childish things.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.2s
- Why do I always fail? - You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't worry about the money. I'll figure something out. More importantly... when the time is right... it'll happen. You'll find the one.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8s
I need to see the grade transcripts for Van Wilder, please. I don't think so. Student transcripts are confidential. Sorry.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
6.6s
Your father wants to get us a place in Forest Grove as an engagement present. - My parents know about this? - Yeah, I told everyone.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
9.8s
I can't hold on There's no easy way Hey, Van, can I borrow-- My God, what happened to you?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.9s
Where are you going? I'm not sure, and for some reason... I feel really good about that.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.6s
I'm old enough to be jealous of that Gwen girl.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
Northwestern. I am the shit.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
25.7s
Sounds to me like your rectal itch was getting a late-night booty scratch. First, my bitch turns down my proposal. Then she runs into that loser's arms. Now I don't even know where my bitch is. Wilder's got some big blowout tonight. Maybe your bitch is gonna be there. You do not call her that, gonad! Hey, guys. Just giving you all the 411 . I'm a counselor for the Further Leaders of America's overnighter. The bus doesn't leave for a few hours. Is there anything I can do before I go? Anything at all?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.8s
Well, yeah, but also... because you have the potential to be great.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
6.5s
Definitely be out of the question unless they all agreed with us... and we talked it over.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
35.4s
Hey, hold up a second. What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What were you doing in there? As smashed as I am, I'm pretty sure that's my room, wasn't it? What was that girl, a freshman? She reads at a sophomore level. This was a big mistake, Van. I'm leaving. Why are you here? Did you come to hire me to do your bachelorette party? 'Cause your party pimp has already been booked by your fianc�. - My fianc�? What are you talking about? - When are you two tying the knot? Seriously, I'd really like to hold that date open. That is none of your business. And you know what? You're none of mine.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
7.6s
- I'm here to enlist your services. - Let me guess. "Come as your favorite drunk-on-jis, come-gargling frat boy party"? Then your mom can come.