I want you to promise me something as I care about you. You gotta promise me you're not gonna have a baby... ...unless you're ready to love that baby's mother your whole life... ...and this is serious. I'm telling you something that nobody's gonna tell you. Don't pick a girl who's push-pull, you know? You wanna pick somebody who's gonna love you...
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
4s
It was Crimea, Kashmir, and the Gaza Strip all rolled into one.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.7s
...not great.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
4s
Never commit to an interaction that won't be casual or mellow.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
8s
You know, I'm terminally awkward and I have a face like a little groundhog. So... You can't really think that.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
7s
I might just not apply. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. It's probably not even top five.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
4.7s
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna sit here and get comfortable watching you die.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
3.4s
It can keep unfolding itself to you just as long...
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
2.5s
That's actually sort of hard to do.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
2.3s
(PRAYING IN HEBREW)
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.6s
I like that hat.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.3s
Here.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
1.3s
Yeah.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
23.2s
Oh, my God, Greg. I know. Admission rescinded, due to significant change in my academic record. Oh, well, no college next year. I guess I'll just be home, which sucks for you... ...because it's gonna be so hard for you to go through all my stuff. Can you just do me a favor right now, Mom? Just leave me alone. Okay? Just let me sit here and regret stuff. I'm just gonna think about all the things that I've ever done... ...and all the things I haven't done and just regret the living shit out of it. Okay?
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
23.2s
Listen, even if you think people won't like you... ...which is literally an insane thing to think... ...you're way less exposed to people in college. High school is 40 hours of class a week. College is, like, 15 and 20. And if you don't want to live with other people, then go to Pittsburgh State. Live at home. It's better than sitting college out because you irrationally hate yourself.
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
21.8s
Spiders the size of your fist. Their fangs glistening with venom and... ...their thousand-fold black eyes shining dully in the gloom. In the darkness, you would hear the sudden anguished hiss... ...of a spider being struck by an adult leopard wasp... ...and in their mortal struggle, they would plummet to one's bed... ...biting and stinging and thrashing...
Me & Earl & the Dying Girl
14.8s
Yeah, dude came running up, showed you his butt. You were calm. Said, "Justin, only perverts show their butts." (SLURPS) I was right there. RACHEL: I can't believe you remember that. You a hero. Shut his perverted ass right down. I never forget it. (LAUGHS)