Found 1984 results
1m8s
Yo. Hey, I was doing some research for next year... ...and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. - The Vag-tastic Voyage. - Which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage? The Vag-tastic Voyage is the one where... ... they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van... ...and then they bang them in the van. It's like 13 bucks a month... ...and you get access to other sites. Like one's Latina, one's Asian, you know, there's one for fetishes... ...like feet and pee-pee and shit and stuff like that. That's disgusting. You're like an animal. I'm... What? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man. Don't make me feel weird because I like porn. You're weird for not liking porn. I'm normal as shit. Peeing on people. That's normal? Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it. I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay? I don't know what I'm gonna be into 10 years from now. I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff. I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value. Like some editing, transition, something. Some music. Yeah, well, I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch. They're hard to get ahold of, okay? Plus your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit. Yeah, you're right. I probably should pick the one with the least dirty name.
Superbad
33.2s
- You got in? - We got right in. - Wanna do this, 'roid monkey? - Fuck you! Then we called it a night. We were all just really exhausted. What the fuck?! You would've loved it. It was an incredible, unbelievable night. That sounds like a lot of fun. You know, I'd love to go do something like that sometime. Who wouldn't? I mean, it was like... ...me and Seth are always kind of cooking up these... ...fun, sort of, little, you know, events. I guess you guys are really gonna go crazy next year together. We were going to, but we got into different schools. Really? That sucks.
Superbad
39s
- I'm an amateur. I kind of... - That looks like an M&M. Longer face? Bigger nose? Would you say his mouth was wider? Open? A gap? Is there another squad car in the area that could be of further assistance? I don't seem to be getting any. Okay, so just walk me through again what this guy did. He... He... He came in, he's wielding... He's wielding something. He hits this small gentleman in the slacks. And then he jumps over you, he feels you up, violates you. - I did not say that. - No, he doesn't. Look, I can't do this. I told you already, I have an exam tomorrow. Can you understand that? I have a goddamn veterinary exam!
Superbad
44.5s
Evan. Get into the game. Kick it over to me. Seth! Get off the field! Get out of here. They're gonna make me run laps. Just fucking listen, okay? Jules and her stupid fucking friend asked me to buy her alcohol. But not just her, for her whole party. You know what that means? By some miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me. Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust... ...with the whole fun-ness of her party. She wants to fuck me. She wants my dick in or around her mouth. Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol? - She doesn't want your dick. - Of course I thought of that. The first thing that came to my mind. Listen. My older brother always says the nastiest shit. Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12. Seth, I wanna blow you.
Superbad
20.1s
- Here's the money and the list. - Change is yours. Keep the change. - Thank you. What's the list for? - The alcohol. We're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay? We put a lot of time into this list, so don't fuck it up. It's perfect. Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, Goldslick... Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca. Don't forget that.
Superbad
40.2s
She starts crying. She flips out. And she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest... ... and he fucking flips out. He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic... ... and he thinks I'm possessed by some dick devil. My parents make me see a therapist, and he's asking me dick questions. They made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no Popsicles. You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. Yeah. Well, I don't... That's really messed up.
Superbad
1m9s
Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this class because I'd be cooking with a partner. But she's never here, and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work. I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth. I know, but look at Evan, okay? Just look at him. Don't keep me waiting much longer. I'm getting impatient up here. You know what I'm talking about. Miroki, you're embarrassing me. I'm here in my unit, isolated and alone, eating my terrible-tasting food... ...and I gotta look over at that. Looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my life. And it's B.S. Excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry. I'm like a single mother. We all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense. Everyone takes this class to get an A. It's bullshit, and I'm sorry. I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't wanna sit here alone cooking this shitty food. No offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu. When am I gonna need to cook tiramisu? Am I gonna be a chef? No. There's three weeks left in school. Give me a fucking break. I'm sorry for cursing. All right, Jules' partner isn't here today either. Pair up with her. Station four. Jules? All right. I'll give it another shot. I'll give Home Ec another shot.
Superbad
37.4s
- Fuck you, Evan! - Don't fucking touch me. Why did you do that? - You shined the light in my face. - You did too. - I'm driving. - We were playing Lightsabers. - Excuse me. - Oh, my God. Are you guys gonna make sure he's okay? - Check on him. - You check. - You go out there and check on him. - Fuck that. You go. Balls. Okay, we'll both go out there and check on him.
Superbad
41.2s
We should grab one of these buckets and get out. You out of your mind? How are we gonna get a fucking bucket out? - Dude, what the fuck? - Hey, man. What the fuck do you think you're doing? - What are you...? What? Nothing. - You using my phone? - What do you think you're doing? - Hang up. Nothing. What... What... What's wrong, Mark? You weren't invited. Get the fuck out of here. - Come on, Mark. It's cool, man. - You using my fucking phone? You calling your fucking friends again? You calling your friends, your fantastic friends? No. I mean, yes. But I mean I'll... Come on, man, just relax. Mark, please. Get the fuck out of here. The fuck out of my house. Get the fuck out of my house. - This is my house. - Don't be such a dick, man!
Superbad
1m7s
- You fucking prick. - What? - You bailed on me. - I didn't bail on you. Yeah, you did. You said you were gonna do something and you didn't do it. That's bailing. You're the one that dragged me to that fucking party with those lunatics. - I didn't bail on you. - You bailed on me, okay? You bailed on me this morning when Jesse spat on me... ...and you're bailing on me next year. What the fuck? It finally comes out. That's good, man. We were supposed to go to college together. Since we were kids, since elementary school... ...that's all we've ever talked about, us going together. And you got into fucking Dartmouth. You're making me feel like I'm a bad guy. What...? I didn't do anything wrong. I got into a good school. How the fuck am I supposed to get into Dartmouth? You knew I couldn't. How fucking selfish are you? You had no problem letting Fogell take the fall. You don't want me going to a good school. - Fuck, man! - So, what the fuck do you want? I'm not gonna let you slow me down anymore, Seth. What are you saying?
Superbad