She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
9s
Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. Oh, that's true.
Superbad
2.9s
- He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go.
Superbad
7.5s
It was my last chance and I fucked it up and... Your last chance to do what? To make you my girlfriend for the summer.
Superbad
1.7s
Fuck off, Seth.
Superbad
4.5s
It's awesome. Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops.
Superbad
1.1s
You saved me?
Superbad
10s
- You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. Yeah, I'm actually... I'm not drunk at all. I don't even drink, so it's... I mean...
Superbad
4.4s
But we're the police. We just wanna get the story straight.
Superbad
7.1s
Hey. You dance hot. Thank you.
Superbad
5.1s
Now, what's your first name? What? - Your first name? - My first name?
Superbad
6.4s
We're so fucked. We're so fucked. This plan's been fucked since Jump Street. Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right?
Superbad
3.7s
Not from you. Give me that booze, Fagell.
Superbad
13.3s
- Shoot-off. - Shoot-off. - Shoot-off! - Shoot-off! There's a lot of reasons why I like you. I mean, you're handsome and you're a good friend. Dude, there he is. That's the guy. Hey, Mark, right there.
Superbad
20s
Jesus, fuck. - Hang on one second. - What? Becca, I don't think you wanna do this. - You're really drunk. - No, I'm not. I am not drunk. - I see that you are. I think you are. - And I really... I want you inside me. I want you to be my first. I want you inside me. So just... Just go with it. - Let it happen. - I know, but...
Superbad
1.7s
Holy shit, they busted Fogell.
Superbad
8s
- The joint can't hold me. - Holy shit, Fogell's a badass. I'm gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop. You can't hold me. Fucking pigs.
Superbad
10.1s
- All right, well, thank you for the pen. - Yeah. No problem. - Bye. - Bye. Bye, Evan.