Found 453 results
1m16s
She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
28.9s
- What a rush. - What do you guys wanna do? - Man, let's get drunk! - Let's get more fucked up! You're fucking living the dream, Michaels! Oh, man. This is gonna be the best night ever. - Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview. - Shit. All units in the area report to Fifth and Paysview. - Car 98, that's you. Do it. - Fuck. - Shit. - Shit. Car 98 on it. You dumb fucking whore. Hey, did she say we're gonna get to shoot somebody or something? Oh, God, I wish.
Superbad
1m15s
You laughed in my face when I said I'd be having sex tonight. That doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared. - You didn't even bring a condom? - No. No, Evan, that wasn't part of the plan. You did this without consulting with me. We've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan. I had, like, a general outline. You know? I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay? She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that. Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg. Well, I just... I don't see the harm in bringing one little condom. And one little bottle of spermicidal lube? Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube. - Evan, that's psycho shit, man. - No, it's not. That's, like, Charles Manson shit. What, do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you brought lube? "Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy. I never would've been able to handle your fucking 4-inch dick... ...inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube." - Okay, that's... That's enough. - Fuck. These girls are 18, they're not dried-up old ladies. - They're good to go. - Then I won't bring the lube. Don't make me feel like that. I thought it was cool. - This is a nice kind. - Let me see that for a second. - An impressive kind. - It is kind of cool. - That's cool. - Fucking dumbass. Lube? - That's funny. - You brought lube? You owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking over to get it and it exploded.
Superbad