Ow! Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. What makes you think that I would come early? Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Yes, I am. So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca."
American Pie
22.8s
Vicky, think it's time to take the next step in our relationship? - Tonight? - Yeah, it's such a perfect evening. I mean, it's how you've always pictured it, isn't it? Damn, my parts fuckin' stink! Dude, you gotta take a shit! You smell like a Yeti! Or not. Just relax.
American Pie
13.8s
- But... - See, that's what I've been realizing... is that... nothing's perfect. And you can't plan everything. Well, I guess... you will be pretty far away.
American Pie
7.9s
Okay, let's go. What's my name? Say my name, bitch! Michelle, Michelle.
American Pie
12s
Xenophobic. Oh! - Regurgitation. - I know that one.
American Pie
5s
Exactly. - Okay, Albert. You ready? - No problemo.
American Pie
2.1s
That was a great night, huh?
American Pie
3.2s
I wasn't lying.
American Pie
10s
- Why are you doing this? - 'Cause I want to. Yeah? Well, you can't fake this. You better practice.
American Pie
8s
We'll tell you on the bus. I'm gonna go inside and grab my bag. My date too, perhaps?
American Pie
35.2s
You know what? I don't know if I want to be doing this. - Doing what? - You know, like, if we hook up tonight, tomorrow I'll just be some girl you go telling all your friends about. No way! Steve, you could at least look at me when you say that! Look. Sarah, I... I wouldn't go telling stories or anything about you. I promise. So, just... relax, take it slow... and let the good times roll.
American Pie
26.3s
- Let me know. - Okay. Keep going. I should be able to talk to girls. I'm articulate. You know, I got a 720 on my S.A.T. Verbal. Bullshit. There's no way. I kid you not, man. Look. Listen. Copious. Verisimilitude. Oh, ohh. Now.
American Pie
18.1s
- Good morning, gentlemen. - Finch. Where were you last night, huh? What happened to that foolproof plan of yours? Well, I was going for a fashionably-late entrance and I was too late. So, no ladies left. It was a very special night, very special. Guys. Guys.
American Pie
14.9s
Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house. And you're not gonna do anything about that? What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the Internet? - Yeah. - You can do that?
American Pie
11s
And then he just puked his brains out. - That is a nasty story. - Yep, I told you. Do you want to hear a nasty story of mine? It's sort of sexual.
