Found 1049 results
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
27.8s
Stifler's mom got it in the divorce. That reminds me of this one time... Hey, can I ask you a question? How come you don't have any stories? I've got lots of them, and you don't have any. Oh, I've got stories. Believe me. They're just, uh... They're just a little more risque than tales of band camp. Are they gross or something? Like guy stuff? Tell me! Okay. You want a story? Here's a story. Stifler finds this beer...
American Pie
24.4s
- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
21.9s
26.2s
1m18s
Thanks, uh, Heather, right? Yeah. So, you've got this sort of Frank Sinatra thing going on. Right. I feel like I've discovered this whole new side of me. I mean, uh, music is so expressive. Okay. I mean, I agree, but... aren't you supposed to be out, like, trying to decapitate someone... - with your lacrosse stick or something? - Oh, sure. Sure. You know, I know what people think. It's like, "Oz, he's just this kick-ass lacrosse player." You know, I also play football, by the way, but that's, like, - that's not all that I am, you know? - Of course, I didn't... I mean, it really bothers me when people try to pigeonhole me like that. You? You think I don't get that? God, it's like just because I don't get drunk and barf every weekend... that people say, "Oh, look. There's this Goody Two-Shoes choirgirl priss." Yeah. So, like, what else do you do? Well, the same things you do, like hang out with friends and stuff. - Why? What do you think I do? - Oh, I... I just realized that I don't know anything about you. - I was interested. - Oh, well, what do you want to know? You know, stuff... about you.
American Pie
1m1s
Dude, it's not like I haven't been trying to get laid. Think about when you work out, Oz. You gotta have someone there, right? Someone to spot you. Someone to keep you motivated. Well, that's exactly what we can do for each other. I mean, we'll be there to keep each other on track. Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny. Their tiger-style kung fu is strong. But our dragon-style will defeat it. - Guys! - The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! - Fight, and find out who is number one. - Guys! Come on. You're ruining my moment here. This is our very manhood at stake. We must make a stand, here and now. No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be. This is our day. This is our time. And, by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy. - Amen. Yes. - I like that. - We will make a stand. We will succeed. - 'Bout time! - We will get laid! - Yeah! - Yeah!
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie