National Lampoon's Van Wilder Tim Matheson Clear all

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8.9s
It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.1s
We need to talk.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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13.2s
It's time to excise that cancerous lump. Forget him. Let's crap in the chapter room and make the pledges clean it up. - It'll be fun. - I wish I could, Gordo. I got dinner at Gwen's parents' house. Sounds special. Is Wilder gonna be there?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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10.3s
- Where did you find that? - In your room a few days ago. I'm trying to spark this bong, but this damn thing won't light. That's no bong! It's for my schlong!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.2s
Oh, yes.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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11.6s
I want to apologize for what Richard did the other night. It was a really immature stunt. Yeah, I know... but sometimes guys can do some pretty childish things.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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15.2s
- Why do I always fail? - You put too much pressure on yourself. Don't worry about the money. I'll figure something out. More importantly... when the time is right... it'll happen. You'll find the one.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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6.5s
Definitely be out of the question unless they all agreed with us... and we talked it over.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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10s
You see, Timmy, you can't let this lead you all the time. Sometimes you've gotta heed this. I think you've got a lot of heart in there, mister, don't you?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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11.3s
Is it true that this is your seventh year at Coolidge? Carry the two-- Yes, that's correct. So what's your boyfriend's name? Does he go to school here? - Does he appreciate you? - That's none of your business. You know what? You're right.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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1.5s
Oh, my God!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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8.6s
- Thank God. - No jammies. - Party foul. - No, don't-- Oh, dear God. Next time you'll know better.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.6s
Let's get it started then, shall we?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Sweet Joseph, my son's a fairy.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.9s
Dad, what are you doing here?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.5s
Come on. We got a ball game to win.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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41.5s
This ball club is the heart of this institution. You win, it beats. You lose, it breaks. You're not boxing out, Big Papa. You're my Windex man. I want you shining glass. We gotta D up out there. Darius. I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. What are you looking at? Your mom said you left your legs at home. For God's sake! I'd do anything for you guys... which is why I'm throwing you a little soiree tomorrow night... but not without a W tonight. You want to know why? Nobody wants to celebrate a loss, guys. Hey, man, you gonna invite those freak honeys from Mt. Holyoke? I already did. They said they'd try to make it if they weren't humping the Matadors. - The Matadors? - What?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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2.1s
They need me, Ted.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder