A dilemma has arose up front. - Don't know if we got our point across. - Crystal clear, guys. - This is incredible. - 100 percent. Don't go anywhere. Seriously. Van is a godsend. I would have paid him way more than a grand for this party. I would have cashed in my Israel bonds. - How do you put a price on dignity? - How do you put a price on poonani? - Yes! - Oh, God!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.7s
Gotta go. Sorry. Bye. Bye-bye. Call me. Gentlemen. Trooper. We got an anonymous tip that there's some underage drinking going on here. Hutch? Hell no, man. I've been at the door all night.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.9s
It's like this itchy, rashy burning sensation. And it hurts when I-- - Dance? - When I pee.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
15.2s
- Let's get you some skates. - I'm not here to skate. For some reason, my editor thinks you're a story. What do you think? As a story, I think... you're a little soft. Wow, all this time I thought I was more to you than just some flaccid story.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
8.7s
Where the hell is everyone? Mad props for this pimpin' good time... go out to those hung and handsome bad boys... of Lambda Omega Omega.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.7s
Thanks for the good time, fellas.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
26.8s
- What are you doing here? - You two know each other? That's my girlfriend, gluteous erecti. - You must be premed Dick. - Yeah, that's right. - What's it to you? - Thanks for the story. What story? Brilliant, Pearson. I have been inundated with people telling me... how much they enjoy reading about this guy. They want more, and so do I. I want you to do a follow-up. I did your story, Elliot. I'm not doing another one. Even if I tell you it's gonna be on the front page of the graduation issue... in two months?
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
34.9s
- He'll call you back. - Unbelievable. Van Wilder's phone. - Terrible. - I think so. Yeah. - Hang on. - Unbelievable. Van's room. Saturday night, yeah. That's-- How did you-- From the paper? Yeah, that's fine! Okay, thanks. - No problem confirming. Bye. - This writing, it's just-- I was just wondering if you could... slam the door in my face. Van, you must listen to me. Because of her article, everybody wants to have a party thrown by Van Wilder... the party liaison. Your cash camel has arrived!
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
13.9s
She's smart, she's beautiful... she can skate. She's not for you, dude. She's too high-strung. Besides, babes that fine-- they're way into themselves and shit.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
6.7s
My dad just didn't see me as a sound investment anymore. But he gave up on me and my mom long before I ever came here.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.2s
Too bad she's dating Strapper John, MD.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.4s
Threatened? Please.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.1s
We need to talk.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
2.6s
- Why? - I like it here.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
37.5s
So how long have you and premed Richard been together? - Since my freshman year. - I bet he's a tighty whitey guy. - Excuse me? - White, elastic band, constrictive. You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of drawers they wear. Like you. Granny panties, I bet. Does that allude to me being the plain, boring type? I just wanted a visual. I think it takes a lot more than the kind of underwear one wears... to define them as a person. Like what? Like their actions. For instance, most people... want to get out of school so they can make money. You're trying to make money to stay in school.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
4.8s
Maybe seven years of tuition... is a good way to remind him that you're still angry.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
30.6s
Very strange, but good advice. You think about the future too much, you kinda forget about the present... obviously. And I am really enjoying the present right now... sharing a penalty box and a tri-latte with Gwen Pearson... who believes censorship reflects society's lack of confidence in itself. You actually read that article? Okay, look, I read the damn article, but don't tell anyone... because if word gets out that I read, my reputation-- shot to hell.
National Lampoon's Van Wilder
10.5s
Are we gonna get in trouble for being in here? It's cool. Equipment manager owes me a favor. I introduced him to his wife. Life is all about developing relationships, Gwen. I hope you can skate.