She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
9s
Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. Oh, that's true.
Superbad
2.9s
- He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go.
Superbad
7.5s
It was my last chance and I fucked it up and... Your last chance to do what? To make you my girlfriend for the summer.
Superbad
1.7s
Fuck off, Seth.
Superbad
4.5s
It's awesome. Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops.
Superbad
4.1s
So... Okay, so then we will see you tonight. Go to the ball, guys.
Superbad
1.1s
You saved me?
Superbad
10s
- You're, like, really, really drunk. - So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules. Yeah, I'm actually... I'm not drunk at all. I don't even drink, so it's... I mean...
Superbad
2.1s
Fucking funny.
Superbad
37.4s
- Fuck you, Evan! - Don't fucking touch me. Why did you do that? - You shined the light in my face. - You did too. - I'm driving. - We were playing Lightsabers. - Excuse me. - Oh, my God. Are you guys gonna make sure he's okay? - Check on him. - You check. - You go out there and check on him. - Fuck that. You go. Balls. Okay, we'll both go out there and check on him.
Superbad
5.5s
Goldslick.
Superbad
5.8s
You're a fucking pussy. Don't listen to him, officer. If you make this, we're no longer friends, Michaels.
Superbad
38.3s
...your mom's got huge tits. What do you think? I don't know, man. Don't ask me. Because I don't give a shit how pants look. Yeah, I need someone's opinion. Those are too tight. Those are way too tight. - Yeah, but, like... - Way too tight. You need to upgrade. There's not enough pants where there should be. More pants. Yeah, but... I mean, does it look weird? Looks like you're standing funny. You wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck. Yeah, but I'm doing like... - I'm doing the college poses like... - I don't know if you are. - You might just be doing... - Hey, prof. - Okay. - That test was...
Superbad
4.4s
But we're the police. We just wanna get the story straight.
Superbad
7.1s
Hey. You dance hot. Thank you.
Superbad
5.1s
Now, what's your first name? What? - Your first name? - My first name?
Superbad
6.4s
We're so fucked. We're so fucked. This plan's been fucked since Jump Street. Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right?