Found 722 results

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1.2s
Who are you?

Ted

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2s
I gotta fuck her again.

Ted

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Excuse me.

Ted

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4.9s
Johnny. You're going to be okay, buddy. Do you understand? You're going to be fine.

Ted

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Wait, was it any one of those names with a "Lynn" after it? Yes. I got you, motherfucker. I got you. Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn, Channing... Tami-Lynn. Fuck!

Ted

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(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence My pretty little sixpence Stop it. Knock it off. I love my sixpence Better than my life Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place? You took it to a very... Now it's real. Now it's a real thing. Come on. Take it easy. All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.

Ted

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Back off, Susan Boyle!

Ted

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(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Ted

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3.5s
You know, your boss called this morning asking me how my arm was.

Ted

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2.4s
(GROANS) (COUGHS)

Ted

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1.2s
It was you.

Ted

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We sure did.

Ted

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2.1s
TED: Yeah, see, there's the guy.

Ted

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7.2s
He's a bear. Got it. Oh, my God! This house is fucking huge! I know. Try not to get lost. Come on in.

Ted

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(GRUNTING)

Ted

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(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Ted

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8.5s
Fuck! Shit. Oh, man! TED: Johnny, I'm sorry, man. That car just came out of nowhere. God, is it bad?

Ted

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2.1s
Hey there, fella. How are you?

Ted