What are you, five years old? JOHN: Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so... (LAUGHING) Sir, and madam, here is your dessert and champagne.
Ted
8.5s
You ready to bring down the house? Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss... Ma'am Jones. Thank you. Jesus, you look fantastic.
Ted
6.2s
Yeah, as you can see you've been a part of our family for quite some time.
Ted
8.6s
Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett. But I can give you love, and rocking horses, and dancing.
Ted
5.5s
ROBERT: No! You can't have my teddy bear!
Ted
2s
JOHN: It should be right here, somewhere.
Ted
1.3s
Oh, my God!
Ted
4.8s
This is going to take some doing, I think. I'll just meet you upstairs then? Yeah, I'll be right there.
Ted
2.6s
I think we're very far apart on this.
Ted
1.2s
It's going to be all right.
Ted
11.4s
Are you okay? (GROANING) Oh, God, lam so sorry. No, I'm fine, I'm fine. Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident. Did you hurt your head? Yeah, my head hurts a lot. Oh, man. Here, let me get you some ice.
Ted
11.8s
We are going to party like the '80s. Show us how, Flash. It's easy. We just gotta nail a lot of girls named Stephanie. God, Johnny, I got so much energy. We better start doing stupid shit.
Ted
7s
Every now and then when my life's getting me down and things are tough, I just come up here and I look at it.
Ted
3.7s
They found the missing hikers. They did? Yeah. What happened?
Ted
1.5s
You owe me lobster money.
Ted
9.9s
Well, you know, since I just returned from active duty in the Civil War that actually sounds very appealing. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. That was 150 years ago and I don't give a shit.
Ted
3.2s
You know what? I don't feel like talking to you about this.
