No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.
Ted
3.2s
I just farted. That was a man fart. (GIGGLES)
Ted
2.7s
Thunder buddies for life.
Ted
1.2s
(SIGHS)
Ted
13.9s
You know something? I didn't tie you up and drag you to that party. I wanted you to come because you're supposedly my best friend. You can't stand there and tell me that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship. It works out so much better for you when you and I are getting fucked up on the couch at 9:00 a.m., doesn't it?
Ted
9.5s
You would? I sure would. Is that cannibalism? No, I think it's only cannibalism if you swallow. Oh, yeah, no! Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
Ted
5.4s
These were John Lennon's glasses. They're worth, like, a million dollars. That's me and Tom Skerritt.
Ted
6.4s
Did you... Did you just talk? Don't look so surprised. You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
Ted
5.1s
So you think you got what it takes? I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Ted
2.1s
Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.
Ted
2.4s
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Ted
2.7s
Whoa, whoa! Stop, stop! That's them, turn around!
Ted
2.2s
I know, sir, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
Ted
6.9s
I hear the fat kid running. I hear the fat kid running. I bet it's hilarious. Let me out of here! I am a citizen of the United States of America and I have rights! (GRUNTS)
Ted
7.5s
I know. And we'll hang out all the time, right? All the time. Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here. Bring it in, you bastard. Come on.
Ted
4.4s
All right, Kareem! (GLASS SHATTERING) Ah! You suck, Kareem.
Ted
4.1s
What is it? 'Cause it sounds negative. No, no, it's from The Notebook.
Ted
4s
Oh, I'm okay. If I get raped, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.
