John and Lori were married in Cambridge by a very special Justice of the Peace.
Ted
5.4s
Well, as it turned out, John picked the perfect night to make a wish.
Ted
6.4s
Did you... Did you just talk? Don't look so surprised. You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
Ted
2s
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Ted
3.8s
(LAUGHS) I'm just kidding you. I thought it would be funny if you thought I was fucking retarded.
Ted
5s
And that was a promise that neither one of them ever forgot.
Ted
1.6s
I promise.
Ted
1.5s
Son of a bitch!
Ted
1.2s
Ah!
Ted
1.7s
I got it.
Ted
3.9s
Yeah, John? Do you promise we'll always be together?
Ted
1.3s
(APPLAUSE)
Ted
3.7s
MAN: asshole! TED: That's my bad. I was sending a tweet.
Ted
5.7s
Thanks so much for coming. My daughter better be alive, you sick son of a bitch.
Ted
15.3s
Ted and Tami-Lynn continued their torrid love affair for quite some time. One afternoon, Ted was caught behind the deli counter eating potato salad off of Tami-Lynn's bare bottom. He was instantly promoted to store manager.
Ted
12.7s
Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
Ted
7s
NARRATOR: John was just about the happiest boy in the world and he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
Ted
6.4s
Let's all be best friends. Oh, my God! John, get away from that thing. Get over here right now. But, Dad... Get over here!
