Found 538 results
1m22s
I knew it. Dr. Adolphus. You've been giving her pills this whole time? She's in so much pain. I'm just helping her manage it. -[Emily] Oh, my God. -What the fuck, Kyla? -What? -She's old. She could OD. -Grandma, spit it out. -Hey, guys. -[coughing] -Grandma, Grandma. Spit it out. Grandma. Spit it out, Grandma! Grandma. I feel like I missed something. You know what? Just try and swallow-- Come here! You had no right to give her drugs. Oh, no, no. No, no, no, babe. They're not drugs. They're herbs. Dr. Adolphus-- No, he's a homeopathic doctor. Bullshit. You said he got in trouble with the law. Yeah, for selling raw milk. Oregon's just not as liberal as people think. Whatever. The fact is, that's my grandma. You should not have been giving her anything. [Marcus] That's the problem with you two. Y'all love poking your noses in other people's shit. Marcus, that's not true. Oh, it's not true? So, why would you invite my coworkers to a wedding without asking me? Why did you pawn my rings? You didn't ask me if we wanted to do that either. Or why would you put cocaine in the drinks of people you don't even know? Because I would want people to put cocaine in my drink if they just met me. We were just trying to be nice. "Trying to be nice" just blew up my fucking wedding! [Marcus] This the crazy part. We have no idea why you're here 'cause we didn't even invite you. Marcus, we're here because we're your friends. Friends? You think we're friends? We're not friends, okay! We were just vacation friends for one week in Mexico! We didn't plan on seeing y'all again, at all! That's why I didn't give you my phone number!
Vacation Friends
1m22s
Ah. You know, a lot of people have issues with three-star hotels, but they are just as good as five-star hotels. Yeah, after three, it's, like, too much, you know? [typing] And there you have it. One-star hotel with a great room at the Airport Best Western. Are you fucking kidding me? Well, according to this, sir, it is the best Western in the area. Let me tell you something, okay? I had an itinerary planned. We was gonna go whale watching, we was gonna go tequila tasting. -I booked a dinner at sunset on the beach! -[man] Maurillio! -Where is that son of a bitch? -[woman] Yes! Maurillio! My amigo. Thank you so much for that Jet Ski hookup. Man, we felt some killer waves on the second break. -Oh, my gosh. Then we got high as shit. -We did. So we literally had to jump off and go body surfing. Yeah, but we turned around and the Jet Ski was gone. But don't freak out because I actually took a photo of exactly where we left it. You are gonna have no problem finding it. [man] She's the brains. Okay, okay. Thank you, señora. You're welcome. [giggles] Excuse me, lady with the phone in the goddamn sandwich bag. Hi. How are you guys? Were you guys having a conversation? 'Cause you assumed that Maurillio wasn't already talking to somebody. You just walk your happy ass in here and cut me off. Now, look. I don't mean to snap. It's a lot going on right now. -I'm a little stressed out. -It's okay. I just wanna holler at him real quick. Can I do that? -Yeah. You enjoy your day. -Thank you. Enjoy this gorgeous weather. [laughs]
Vacation Friends
18.7s
[music ends] [wind whistling] [distorted] Did you hear that? [distorted] Oh… Oh, I heard that. Did you hear that? I heard it. I didn't know I could hear-- It's like, I know I can see shit, but I didn't know I was hearing shit too. [branch breaks] [footsteps approaching] What is that?
Vacation Friends
50.9s
Hey, guys. I don't mean to pry or anything, but are you guys, like, secret billionaires or something? -Why do you ask? -'Cause this place looks very expensive. Oh, super expensive. We spent, like, every penny we had on this place. Yeah. Wait. Why would you do that? [man] My buddy Charlie came here way back when and raved about it. If we're gonna go on vacation, might as well go all out, right? And just go broke? Oh, we'll make more money. I work in a doctor's office. Ron here is a park ranger. And not to brag, we're pretty good. Kyla and I always say if we find ourselves with too much money, we haven't been spending it fast enough. That-- That's one way to live. You know, they say money buys you freedom, but how can you really be free if you're thinking about making money all the time? Well, I guess it's your welfare checks I've been paying. [chuckles] Possibly. Possibly, Marcus. -[chuckling] Anyway, to the happy couple. -[Kyla] To the happy, gorgeous couple! -All right. -[Kyla] Yeah, you're engaged! [giggles]
Vacation Friends
24.9s
Seriously? You-- You will never marry my daughter. What have you done to her? -He didn't do anything to me, Dad. -[Gabe] Enough! Move. Sis, you're not thinking straight, okay? Look, it's obvious to everyone besides you that you're marrying some loser who's only bringing you down. Yo, who you talkin' about? I am talking about you. You're utterly beneath her. You have trash friends, a trash job. And you wanna know why? Because you are-- -What? -[screams]
Vacation Friends