Seth Rogen! Shit, here we go. Hey. How's it going, man? Yeah, good. So, you, like, always play, like, the same guy in every movie. When are you gonna do some, like, real acting, man? Okay, thank you. Give me something. Give me, like, the laugh, man. Give me the Seth Rogen laugh. Seth Rogen, everybody. All right, I've landed. I'm here. We've said our hellos. Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
This Is the End
12.7s
And Danny fucking eats me. Why does he eat you? I don't know. I'm just trying to think of, like, the nastiest way to go. Yeah, he could eat you. Okay. That's a good idea, man. He's just out of his mind. He just, like, eats me.
This Is the End
38.9s
What the hell was that? It's already going crazy out there, guys. We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay? I'm a victim. I've had a victim's mentality my whole life. People can smell it on me. When I was a kid, I had man-titties. The bullies held me down, they tittie-fucked me. That's what's happening out there right now. That's right, we are all soft. Yeah. We are all soft! We are actors! We pretend to be hard, man. Yeah. We soft as baby shit. As baby shit, soft as... Wait, Craig, what are you doing, man? Hey, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing to the painting, man? We got to board this shit up, man. Board it up? We got to protect ourselves. We don't know how long we gonna be in here. Okay, chill. There's raccoons, and bandits, and shit out there. This is Obey, man! If you get out the way! This is my favorite fucking painting! What are you doing, Craig? Guys, help. Help. Help. Get off.
This Is the End
49.2s
Oh, it's so bright in here. It is fucking bright. Oh, I'm so high. There's so many delicious choices. What do I do? I'm gonna get something to drink. Okay. Excuse me, would it be possible for my daughter to use your restroom? She's really got to go. Read the sign. Customers only. Seriously? Why the fuck you think I put up the sign? It's okay, Dad. I can hold it. Let's just buy something for your mother. Yeah, well, I guess you better, huh? This cash register lady is mean. I have anxiety. Will you buy this for me? When I'm stoned, I can't do this. I think I'm just gonna head back to your place. I'm not really liking it very much over there at Franco's. Dude, I want you to get to know these guys. That's never gonna happen if you don't put in any effort whatsoever, okay? I hate it in there. I just want to drink some pop and smoke some weed.
This Is the End
2.4s
Mmm-hmm. Oh! God!
This Is the End
1.4s
What?
This Is the End
53.6s
It's better with more people. Hey, guys... - Jesus Christ. - Jesus! Sorry. Franco has this crazy open floor plan. I can hear every word you guys are saying. I might as well hang with you guys if that's cool. Nice. Coming in hot. I gonna grab a blanket from you. Give me that blanket. Get in the middle of it. That's good. That's it. It feels so much more safe now, guys. It's nice here. Should we spoon it? Yeah, you want to? No! Want to go... Dick to butt? No. My butt to you and then Jay. I don't want to butt to dick to anything. Are you docking into me? You're doing tip to me? Or what are you doing? Should we go butt to butt or dick to... Seth and I are gonna go ass to ass. Do you want to go front to front? No, I'm fine just going dicks up. Dicks up? I think I'm going dick to ass. You know what? I'm going Scarface-style. Both of you guys. Wait, yeah. There we go. Yeah. This is the best way. Good night, boys. Good night. Good night. Good night, guys. Night, my sweet guys. Good night. Sweet dreams, fellas.
This Is the End
1.7s
Holy shit.
This Is the End
13.7s
For you, I will go. I promise, I'll stay with you all night, okay? I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I want to be with you all night. And you know why else? 'Cause nobody puts Jay in the corner.
This Is the End
1m5s
Holy shit! What happened? Jay, you're alive. Jay. Oh, thank God, Jay. I'm not dead yet. I told you guys not to go outside. What just happened? Jesus Christ, they are all fucking dead. I told you guys not to run outside. You all right? I tried to save Aziz. I tried. You did your best, man. I love you. Why the fuck did you guys run out there? You know what, James, can you lower your voice? You're freaking out Jay! Maybe I'm a little freaked out, too! - He's not as strong as you. - They all fell in. - Look at my house! - I tried to save them. They all fell in. Get your fucking hands off me. Jonah, stop touching me. Can we get Jay some water, please? Can we get him some hydration? - He needs to be hydrated. - The water's not working! Everyone just runs out the door! My phone is dead. Guys, the fucking Internet's not working! Let's watch the TV. Let's check the news. Where is the TV? It's in the floor. In the floor? - Oh, that's dope. - Yeah, cool, huh? That's really neat. That is impressive, James. The biggest earthquake to ever hit Los... Officers urging people to stay in their homes right now. And also reports of looting and rioting are spreading across the city. Riots. Police are pretty much outnumbered as people are turning to one another. Martial law has now been declared. Air Force One has gone down...
This Is the End
5.6s
You let us both cum inside you. Yeah. Icing on the cake. Check it out.
This Is the End
25.9s
I'm gonna sleep with you. What? I'm gonna sleep with you. It's too scary to sleep alone. But this is my little area. Well, I'm invading your little area. I'm sorry, but I'm too scared, okay? Are you mad at me, man? If I was pissed at you, I'm sure it would have something to do with the fact that I had no interest in coming to this house socially, and now, I am barricaded in here with a bunch of people that I really hate.
This Is the End
12.8s
Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe this horrible, horrible, deadly earthquake happened so we could become closer as a group of friends. I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man. I'm a lone wolf. DMX isn't a lone wolf.
This Is the End
6.7s
Martin! Oh, shit! Kevin! Kevin! What the fuck? Geez, get the fuck off me, Aziz!
This Is the End
5.8s
There it is, got that dick now. That dick is coming now.
This Is the End
3.9s
The good guys are here. We're fine! It's gonna be fine.