Found 222 results
48.2s
Ha-ha, nice! - Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! - Ooh, whoo! - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? - M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. - Yeah, dude! Oh-ho, yeah! - Yeah! MILF! MILF! - Hey, guys... Guys. Guys. - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? I got company, if you know what I mean?
American Pie
32.8s
Ow! Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. Now, I have two rubbers. Wear them both. It'll desensitize you. I don't want you coming so damn early this time. What makes you think that I would come early? Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You're a sure thing. Yes, I am. So I said, "This is very obviously a Piero della Francesca."
American Pie
1m19s
Maybe the words aren't that important. It's like, I know he really cares about me, you know? Even if he can't say it, he does. And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's okay, 'cause he's a guy, right? - He's got a dick. He's a guy. - Right. Wait. Is this translation right? "Go home, bird teacher. I've had enough." I don't know. I got it from Kevin. - So, does it hurt? - What? You know... sex. Does it hurt? Yeah. I mean, the first time you do it, you know, it hurts. But then you, you do it again and again and again... It just starts to feel good. Really good. Okay, so say I don't do it. And then I go off to college. I might end up doing it with some random guy... - who totally turns out to be a jerk. - This is true. And I'll wish I would've done it with Kevin. So go do it with Kevin. - You think? - Yeah. You're... You're ready. - You're woman. Look at you. You're ready for sex. - You're right. - I know. - I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex. - Now. - And it's gonna be right, and it's gonna be just perfect. - Perfect sex. - Thanks, Jessica. Please. Kevin. Kevin.
American Pie
1m14s
What was that all about? - He's still embarrassed because Finch kicked his ass. - Who told you that? What do you mean, "no comment"? - Did you two hook up or something? - What, are you kidding? No. Then how did all this get started? Well, I guess it's all right for me to tell you now. That reputation of his isn't going anywhere. Cheese, please. Finch comes up to me and says, "Jessica, I need your help with this, blah, blah, etcetera." So I said, "All right. Pay me 200 bucks, and I'll tell a couple of girls that you're dynamite in bed." So he did, and I did. - That actually works? - Well, duh! Of course. Naturally, I embellished a little bit. Did you hear that Finch had an affair with an older woman? No, I didn't hear that one. That one was my favorite. Do that cheerleader. - # Thank you, baby # - She wants me. She calls me up... # How sweet it is to be loved by you ## Oh, my God, you're gay! Sing it with me. You know the words. No, thanks, man. You've been singin' that shit all week. If you try that at M.S.U. This Saturday, I'll kick your ass. Our last game is this Saturday. Yeah, well, shit.
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie